Ever had a heated online argument with a stranger, only to think of the perfect comeback three days later? Well, on the internet clock, a few days might as well be an eternity, and everyone’s already moved on.
But over on r/clevercomebacks, wasting time is unheard of. With over 2 million members, this subreddit is full of sharp retorts for any situation. At Bored Panda, we’re big fans. So we’ve rounded up the best comebacks they have to offer. Keep reading, you might just find the right response to silence that next awkward comment.
#1 Do You Have One?
Image credits: Comfortablejack
The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.
The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.
#2 Yep May Be It Is True
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There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.
“When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”
#3 Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late
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#4 Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him
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Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.
According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.
#5 Never Underestimate A Woman
Image credits: Dry-Net
#6 Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair
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If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.
#7 “Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”
Image credits: reddit.com
#8 They Don't Give A Damn
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#9 Love This Guy
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Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”
“Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.
#10 I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh
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#11 What A Good Reply
Image credits: Comfortablejack
#12 Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love
Image credits: BelleAriel
Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends.
#13 Keep Your Stick On The Ice
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#14 Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe
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#15 Not Be A Baby Machine
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It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.
“[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs. This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.
#16 You're The Problem
Image credits: Cereal_killer03
#17 Room Temperature IQ
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#18 Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?
Image credits: OldFingerman
Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.
#19 They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime
Image credits: TheRikari
#20 Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile
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#21 Some Good Luck!
Image credits: FitzRowe
However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”
#22 Thank You Andy Wang!
Image credits: ykafia
#23 Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?
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#24 Definitely Atheists That Do This
Image credits: Jet_The_Tabaxi
Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.
#25 It Was Social Distancing Haha
Image credits: BelleAriel
#26 I Understand Completely
Image credits: My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
#27 British Museum
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So next time, we hope you have the confidence and quick wit to deliver that perfect comeback. Stay sharp!
#28 Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It
Image credits: free-whitebird
#29 Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???
Image credits: FitzRowe
#30 Stealing The Rainbow
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#31 Look Before You Leap
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#32 I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before
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#33 Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile
Image credits: twinkletoes_44
#34 Separate Payments
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#35 People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles
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#36 Big Footprints To Fill
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#37 True Perfection Has Been Achieved
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#38 Education Is Vitally Important, After All
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#39 Bless This Woman
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#40 Comeback
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#41 Simple Math To Hard
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#42 Comeback
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#43 Comeback
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#44 Illegal Plants
Image credits: YoloForJesusChrist
#45 Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?
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#46 Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?
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#47 Comeback
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#48 Old But Gold
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#49 I Hate Anti-Maskers
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#50 Useless Trees
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