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Indrė Lukošiūtė

84 Terrible Things Narcissistic Parents Do That Their Kids Never Really Forget

United States

None of us chooses to be brought into this world. So you’d think the people responsible for raising us would at least give us a safe and loving home. Sadly, plenty of children end up in families that make their lives much harder than they ever needed to be.

Over on the Narcissistic Parents subreddit, users share what growing up with an entitled mother or father can be like. Many call out the things they went through, while others use humor to cope. We’ve rounded up a selection of their posts below. Scroll down to check them out.

#1 Louder Please !

#2 Eventually You Just Accept That There's No Point

#3 This

When you grow up with narcissistic parents, you often don’t realize anything is wrong at first. To you, getting blamed for things that weren’t your fault or being made to feel guilty for having needs can simply seem normal.

Then, at some point, you realize other families don’t work like that. And that realization can hurt. It can feel lonely too, almost like everyone else got a head start in life while you were left trying to catch up.

#4 Thought You All Would Appreciate This One

#5 I Feel Like This Can Hit Close To Home With Many Of Us Here

#6 This Made Me Burst Into Tears

That comparison isn’t even much of an exaggeration. Difficult experiences in childhood can actually change the way your brain learns to understand the world.

“If you have a whole bunch of bad experiences growing up, you set up your brain in such a way that it’s your expectation that that’s what life is about,” James Perrin, former president of the American Academy of Pediatrics, told The Atlantic.

#7 Yup, Same

#8 Say It Louder For The People In The Back

#9 Nice Name Bro, Couldn't Crosspost

Sadly, childhood trauma is far from rare. According to a 2014 study published in Health Affairs, 48% of US children experience at least one adverse childhood event, while 23% go through two or more.

These can include witnessing domestic violence, living with someone who has a substance problem or having a parent with serious mental illness.

#10 It Do Be Like That

#11 Own Up To Your Mistakes For Once

#12 Saw This On Instagram, Thought It Belonged Here 😂

Children exposed to at least two traumatic or highly stressful events are 2.5 times more likely to repeat a grade or become disengaged from their schoolwork than those who haven’t faced any.

They are also more likely to have chronic health conditions, including asthma, ADHD, autism and obesity.

#13 Same. Now I Just Talk Back And Defend Myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

#14 I Thought This Was Normal And Wondering Why I Hate Staying With My Mum

#15 This Is Literally How I Realized In My Mid 20’s That We Grew Up In An Emotional Abusive Household Wrought With Mental Illnesses

And growing up doesn’t necessarily mean leaving all of that behind. The habits you learn as a child can follow you for years.

According to Healthline, adults raised by narcissistic parents may struggle to put their own needs first because they spent so long learning that someone else’s feelings mattered more.

#16 Indeed

#17 Kids Aren't Responsible For Their Parents

#18 I Felt This Post

As a result, they may deal with a lot of self-doubt and struggle with low self-esteem. That can make it harder to trust their own abilities or speak up for themselves.

They might hold back from applying for a better job because they assume they won’t get it. Even asking a coworker for help can feel uncomfortable, so they may end up taking everything on by themselves instead.

#19 True

#20 The Logic Is Impeccable

#21 Mind Blown But Its Soo True!!

When toxic parents don’t respect their children’s boundaries, those kids can have a hard time setting their own later on. Saying no might feel scary, especially if it used to get them punished or cause an argument.

They can also turn into people-pleasers after learning that keeping a parent happy was the easiest way to get affection. That habit can stick around in friendships and romantic relationships, where they may keep putting someone else first.

#22 Happy Mother’s Day

#23 Thought This Would Belong Here

#24 Bought My Own Car So My Nparents Can’t Use Taking My Keys As A Manipulation Tactic Anymore :)

Of course, growing up with a toxic parent doesn’t mean you’re doomed to deal with the effects of it forever. People can work through what happened, unlearn the things they had to do to survive and build a much better life for themselves.

The important part is not pretending that kind of childhood was no big deal. Narcissistic parents can make life incredibly hard for their kids, and it can take time to untangle all of that later.