Most people might complain how much dating sucks, but they still do it. According to the Pew Research Center, three in 10 Americans are single, and 51% are looking for a committed relationship or casual dating.
It's natural to have some kind of an idea what person you'd like to date. You may want your values to align, maybe you'd like them to listen to the same music and like similar films as you. Others have preferences about their potential partner's looks, consciously or unconsciously.
But some demands people in the dating world can seriously veer into the absurd. Knowing and having experienced that firsthand, one person online asked others: "What's the most ridiculous dating preference you've heard of?" And people's answers perfectly illustrate the hell that is modern dating.
We also reached out to the person who started this thread, u/Urjanhai. They kindly agree to tell Bored Panda what inspired it and have a chat with us about why modern dating seems to be so difficult at the moment. Read our conversation below!
#1
A woman I knew mentioned she was looking for a man who made “at least $500k/yr” and was also an artist type and not a workaholic. I was like I think those items are in conflict sweet thang.
Image credits: mazzystardust216
#2
Not the most ridiculous, but I got a good laugh when my friend said he wanted to set his dating profile to exclude girls with small dogs that can’t breathe well.
Image credits: PM_Your_Pretty_Tits
#3
Obese People that refuse to date other obese people while simultaneously claiming that being larger is more sexually appealing.
Image credits: blackmobius
The urge to ask others about the most ridiculous dating preferences they've encountered was inspired by the Redditor's own experiences. "I presented this question to Redditors due to having encountered individuals with absolutely mind-boggling and illogical preferences and standards. I was curious to know just how far this phenomenon has gone."
Brazilian researchers have found that even in 2024, people say kindness and intelligence are the most valued traits they look for in a partner. "This is true for both men and women and across the sexual orientation spectrum – although heterosexual men do place a premium on their partner's physical attractiveness," said the study's author, Joao Francisco Goes Braga Takayanagi of the University of Sao Paulo.
#4
Having an active social media presence.
Multiple people tell me that my choice not to use social media was a huge red flag, but in reality I got rid of my accounts because they were making me miserable. I got rid of my Facebook/Instagram/twitter accounts two years ago, and have been noticeably happier ever since.
Image credits: agusgago
#5
Only dating people with a specific astrological sign or birthdate.
Image credits: PhoenixPotion24
#6
Dude wanted a Japanese woman who spoke Spanish and cooked Mexican food .
Image credits: Several-Assistant-51
The most ridiculous dating preference u/Urjanhai's ever experienced was about cars. "Probably the most ridiculous preference was based on what car the man drives. I've seen countless women wanting to date a man who drives a specific brand of cars."
"[The] most ridiculous part of that is that the car brands in question were not even the fancy types like Lamborghinis, etc. No, these women wanted Volvos," the Redditor said in disbelief. "No matter how trashy the car itself was, as long as it's a Volvo, it was okay."
#7
Not dating android users.
Image credits: halimdaninja
#8
I heard about someone who refused to date anyone who didn't have at least ten houseplants.
Image credits: bizzonizon
#9
My friend claims to only want to date Japanese girls, despite not living in Japan or any community with a Japanese population. Furthermore, he has never even met a Japanese girl. His opinion is based solely on watching anime.
Image credits: CreepyCrepesaurus
u/Urjanhai thinks that the increasingly silly demands from people in dating have to do with social media. "I believe this phenomenon is tied to social media and how impressionable people have come."
"Some people adopt their dating preferences from social media if those preferences are popular. It's like wanting to fit in with people you don't know and likely won't ever even meet in real life. Social media has warped people's perception of real-life social dynamics. In a way, they have lost a chunk of their sense of reality, which definitely is alarming," the netizen tells us.
#10
I met a 49 year old man who outright refused to date any women over the age of 30.
He was single, in case you're wondering.
Image credits: lavenderacid
#11
I work with someone who only wants to marry someone from her church. Not her faith - Her physical church of 20 people.
Image credits: carolebaskins69
#12
Only dating people who dislike chocolate.
Image credits: EnchantedEmber20
#13
Had a work colleague reject a guy because he had a desktop PC.
In hindsight, the dude dodged a bullet.
Image credits: SlickWillySillyBilly
#14
I only Date men who like to be covered in dog hair, every day of there life
Because I am always covered in dog hair.
#15
I once heard someone insist their date must have the same brand of toothpaste preference. Like, seriously? It's about compatibility, not dental hygiene uniformity.
Image credits: LovelyRosiePetal
#16
I worked with a guy who said he wanted to have a baby with a woman from every race. I think he was up to 3 kids at that time. SMH.
#17
I have a male friend who dates much younger women who are “high maintenance”.
I know it’s very common, but the dynamic is disturbing. He gets to use her for arm candy, and she gets to use him for money. A dynamic made in Hell.
#18
I once made a rule that I would no longer date men who didn't have some type of window decor. Curtains, blinds, shades, etc. Blankets, sheets, or flags tacked up over a window didn't count.
I don't know why I consider this a sign of maturity, I just do. Maybe I was just tired of the frat boy type.
#19
I have a roommate who is destined to be single forever.
His preferences and is not open to any changes.
Must be shorter than he is. Blond, Blue or Green Eyes. Virgin (and preferably never been kissed). Slim but not too muscular. enjoys doing household "duties". Full Time employment with benefits and retirement savings. No drinking alcohol, caffeine or sugary sodas. must have sense of humor and laugh at his jokes. Must want 3 children. Must be financially set and planning for the future.
He is a 46 year old (suspected Virgin) 5'6" tall, balding, pudgy, evening desk clerk at 2 star hotel, smokes shitons of weed and drinks a 12 pack of light beer daily. Has no hobbies but getting drunk and staring at things. Literally dresses and looks like a person you would not introduce your kids to and no way would you ever leave them with him.
It's sad that he doesn't see how sad he is and thinks it's normal.
#20
I dated a girl who full out admitted that she was dating me (a POC) to look progressive.
Image credits: palinsafterbirth
#21
Only dating people who wear a certain brand of clothing.
#22
I've known a couple of guys who always complained about girls not being interested in short guys, yet would never consider dating someone even slightly taller them them?.
#23
All these "tradcon" dudes want a woman to be a virginal and demure "saving herself for marriage". HOWEVER, as soon as you start dating them, they immediately want the woman to start putting out.
#24
Girl I knew only dated guys with trucks, due to masculinity. Straight up said she couldn't take a guy who drove a woman's car seriously to do a man's role in her life. Guy she wound up with was shorter than average, small and scrawny, worked an office job, and was pretty much the opposite of the big burly masculine type, but he drove a truck. I found that so, so odd. I flip cars so what I drive can change on a daily basis, I can't imagine that being a dealbreaker for someone.
Image credits: PhlippinPhil
#25
I once knew a woman who wouldn't date a guy because the back of his head was too flat.
Image credits: Joemanji84
#26
This is a friend of mine’s preference and I’ll say it in her own words
A tall Asian guy who has a Black guy’s physique who’s also great at dancing reggaeton and bachata.
Image credits: securus02
#27
Know a girl who broke up with a guy because he didn’t read the Bible enough he read it once a day but she reads it three times a day.
#28
"He needs to be so hot that I feel _physically sick_ with how badly I want him whenever I look at him. There's just no other way I could go out with someone"
She was a junior doctor, and a friend of a friend.
When I last saw her, her boyfriend was a 6' 2" ex model... because of the facial scarring from a knife fight. With a rival d**g dealer. He hadn't finished school or done any other kind of work and came from a really rough background. He'd been scouted and modelling was the big break that was going to lift his family out of poverty... but then he got into a fight and it was over before he was even 22.
So now he was unemployed and spending his days sitting around in their flat (that she paid for) smoking weed (that she paid for) with his mates, talking about the hip-hop demo they were going to seriously start working on. Any day now. (Which she would have to pay for).
He _was_ really, crazy attractive. But she would show up at my friend's door in floods of tears a couple of times a month over him and they seemed to spend all the time together when they weren't actually f*****g just... screaming at each other.
I don't know if she actually liked him, as a person, at all.
But he _was_ really hot.
#29
Some girl on tiktok was talking about this guy she met who only dated women with lip filler? Because he believed that meant they had money. ????.
Image credits: Orangutanfarts
#30
A kid I worked with said that he wanted to date someone who was physically fit, worked out at the same gym, had a certain style hair, drove, lived by herself, and there was a whole host of other preferences. We did the maths, and there were roughly 5 people in town who met that list.
#31
My family friend was an immigrant who desired for their daughter to go out with a man from Vietnam. I had never met another Vietnamese family until they were. Our home was in a rural area of Maine.
#32
Met a woman who confessed her hobby (restoring old cars) repulsed most men because "not a feminine activity".
*Au contraire*, I thought it was attractive as hell, and we had lenghty conversations where I did some researches, asked questions, listen her talk about her passion.
She ended our exchanges when I casually told her I wasn't proficient with tools and tinkering (outside computers), her justification being "a manly man knows how to use tools".
#33
I once heard of a guy who abruptly ended a date because she couldn't get through a sentence without using the word "like" several times.
>!It was me.!
#34
I have a very Scandinavian name, my ancestry is 50% Norwegian so I obviously have very Scandinavian features.
You’d not believe the amount of men that try to get with me for their “Viking” aesthetic. It’s weird to be culturally fetishized for a culture I have zero connection to beyond my name and ancestry.
#35
A buddy of mine said he only wanted to date Korean girls. One of our mutual friends at college tried to set him up with her roommate, who was an exchange student from Korea. The next day she asked him if they were gonna see each other again and he said no, she didn’t fit his “standards”.
Turns out the only Korean women he wanted were Kpop idols.
#36
When I told her I wasn't a Haruki Murakami fan she said that was a deal breaker.
Image credits: NoMoreVillains
#37
I had a friend in high school who said that the only man she ever wants is Prince William. Mind you, this was 20+ years ago when he still had hair.
We did not even live in the UK.
She’s in her 40s now and she must have been serious about it, because she has never dated anyone else.
#38
My wife's best friend doesn't last long in relationships because she's waiting for the "perfect" man to come along. Perfect features, makes good money, treats her like a queen. No flaws whatsoever. She's living in a fairy tale.
#39
Specific race, specific piercing, fat a*s, short curly bouncy hair, freckles, must have athletic/fit body, no social media, no Twitch/YouTuber, no guy friends but he can have girls that are friends, I can go on and on. You MUST be okay with hypocritical views/double standards for him.
I’m not making this s**t up. Dude thinking there’s some “build a b***h workshop” out there.
Edit: Thank you to the kind and generous Redditor for awarding me some ?.
#40
A few girls have told me they won’t date anyone who has had the Covid vaccine.
#41
My friend’s requirement is that he must have a long neck. It was hard to keep my composure when she told me that, all genuine with a straight face.
#42
I had a friend/coworker who required men she dated to be at least 6' 2", black, intelligent, handsome, holding a good job, chill after being told after a few dates that she had herpes, never late to a date (even 5 minutes, because that's disrespectful of her time), always pays for dates, always responds to her texts the same day, and visits her in the hospital even if she's only there overnight, they've only been on a few dates, and he has to work and has pre-existing obligations.
She had a zero tolerance policy for anyone who failed any of these requirements. In essence, they had to treat her like she was just about the most important thing in their life.
For some reason she found it hard to find a man to go on more than two or three dates with....
#43
“Swipe left if you’re on meds”. I’m on meds.
#44
I knew this Bangladeshi guy who was always complaining about white women being racist and not wanting to date non-white guys. (he said this despite no apparent difficulty in getting into relationships with them). At one point, he told me he thought white people were the only race he found attractive. So essentially his criticism was that they had the same preference as him.
#45
There's this one girl I repeatedly see on dating sites so she's been on there a long time, as have I. Nothing really wrong with her looks wise, but she is in her 30s and she makes it very clear she's still a virgin.
She wants a guy who is also a virgin, doesn't watch [adult videos] and won't even entertain dating any guy that drinks or smokes even sometimes. And on top of that doesn't want some Mormon or otherwise religious/conservative guy, since she's not religious/conservative herself.
Like, lady, what planet are you on?
#46
I once talked to a guy who liked his women skinny. And I mean SKINNY. he wanted me to starve myself to 90lbs. He liked seeing rib cages, neck bones, etc. I actually did end up dropping down to 98lbs, but it wasn’t because of him. I stopped talking to him very quickly after that.
#47
Alright, feel free to tell me if I'm being mean or not but I dont want to date anybody from France.
#48
Matched with someone on Bumble, she asked my Myers Briggs Personality Type.
I told her it was ENTP, and asked hers.
She unmatched.
Honestly not even mad, gotta respect the hustle.
#49
I've been with a boy for more that a year, the first time I invited him to my (twin) birthday party he said he doesn't date Gemini and disappeared. Before that he never asked my birthday, never talked about astrology or stars.
#50
Once got a message out of the blue on a dating app from a woman (who I hadn't approached, "liked" or talked to even once) in order to reject me out of hand (I hadn't asked!) because "how can you be in your 30's and not own your own home?". I mentioned in my profile that I was currently renting somehow, but it wasn't more than a passing comment and she just messaged to rebuke/reject someone who hadn't even approached her.
I thought it was the weirdest thing. Not even a beginning of a conversation or an honest enquiry or anything, it was an attack right out of the gate.
Didn't like the tell her that the only reason I was renting was that the two previous houses I'd owned I had given to my ex's... the woman was clearly only interested in one thing and I didn't need her getting the idea that she could be number 3.
#51
Only dating men that had a christian "platform", preferably having generations of "men with platforms" before him. Do I need to say this woman is still single?
Curiosa: this same person was also a self-appointed relationship expert and gave couples advice on a regular basis, despite never have had a relationship on her own.
Edit: the word "platform" was used by the woman herself. What she ment was someone like a pastor, preacher or similar type of Christian leader, and preferably not the first generation of the sort in his family.
#52
Had a friend that was very specific about wanting a guy who was an only child.
#53
Way back when I was doing online dating, this girl had the most restrictions for a potential relationship I've seen.. by FAR.
-Man must have a place to live
-Must let her move in
-Sleep in separate beds/rooms
-No kissing or holding hands, makes me uncomfortable
-Hugging is vary iffy, maybe after I got to know you for a few months
-Anything sexual is strictly off the table
-Wont cook, clean, or do chores
-No kids
-Man must support me 100% financially, as I'm unable to work due to medical reasons
Like lady, your not looking for a relationship at this point. You just want a free place to live
EDIT: Oh, I left out another one: Absolutely no porn or masturbation, as she considers it 'cheating'.
#54
Somebody who only dates people who own yachts.
#55
A good friend of mine refused to date any guy who had visited fewer countries than she had.
ETA: She has been to at least 30 or 40 countries.
#56
There was a woman I worked with at a resale boutique- she was dating this guy for like 6 months. They went out every weekend. She was really pretty, he was really handsome.
She asked me what me and my boyfriend talked about. She explained that her boyfriend would take her to bars or restaurants or they would hang out and watch movies, but they never really talked and she didn't know what couples were supposed to talk about- she mostly just dated him because he was good looking and she liked how he dressed.
#57
I have seen people putting on their profile "no Blacks, no Asians", no Indians" etc.. or like "I am only interested in eurocentric standards of attractiveness that media portrays cause of historical oppression, white supremacy and colonlism, i am sorry if i am that narrow minded"
So thats the most ridiculous and stupid and bizzare things I have ever seen.
#58
I once met someone who would only date people who shared their love for collecting vintage spoons. They even brought a spoon to every date to see if it sparked a conversation. People have some wild preferences!
#59
I once met someone who would only date people who shared their exact taste in music. They'd literally ask for a playlist on the first date to see if it matched up. If not, it was a dealbreaker. Talk about a niche requirement!
#60
Knew a girl who worked as a waitress, she actively hated men and said things like “I can’t imagine helping a man with something or doing anything for him, he must handle everything a-z while earning 6 figures” and she wonders why she’s 29 and still single.
#61
Someone with a good head shape (literally) so that if they go bald they look good
Hey, whatever floats your boat.
#62
I've literally heard a woman say to me that her ex-boyfriend was too nice for her and I'd be too nice for her and that she'd need an a*****e to keep her in line. She'd never date anyone who she'd be friends with. She later came out as a lesbian and has only been with women since, the past 11 years.
#63
When I was in Uni, I've heard of a dude that wanted to date women that had "octopi arms".
Me and my friends still are unsure what this means.
#64
People whose legs don't work and wheelchair fetish. Went as far as using a wheelchair despite having legs that work.
#65
I won´t date someone if their name is too ugly.
#66
I knew a guy who hooked up with, but wouldn't date his female best friend—who he talked to every day and spent a bunch of time with—because she wasn't "pretty enough and didn't have enough going for her [as in she's the LA type who makes money off of gigs].
This man was 40 years old and had no stable job. Granted, he was good-looking, but how in the hell is he going to find a woman who's attractive and has things going for her if he doesn't also have things going for him?
#67
Dating with guys who work in the restaurant to get free foods lol.
#68
Not dating someone because they have a high snap score. I personally have a low one cos I think messaging people is boring af, but just because someone has a high snap score doesn’t mean they’re sexting a bunch of people.
#69
I know a guy that is into older women, and by older I mean **muuuch much older,** like their last-dating-experience-older.
#70
I used to be friends with someone who wouldn’t date over 30 when he was like 32-33. He was with a woman nearly 40 purely because she let him cum in her but then set his sights on a girl at his supermarket job who was freshly 21, then another who was 17.
That’s just ONE reason I stopped talking to him.
