Have you ever told your boss or colleagues a fib that you can play golf and then found yourself signed up to the corporate golf day? Not to be the voice of doom, but you are in for a world of pain! There are many things in life you might be able to blag your way through, but being able to play golf is not one of them. Here’s why…
Golf Is Hard
Proper hard, truly difficult, and incredibly frustrating. Stand a fraction too far from the ball = bad shot, stand too close = bad shot, stand up or squat down during the swing = bad shot, grip slightly out = bad shot. This list could go on until the end of time. Even the most experienced golfers mess up regularly, but you will definitely struggle to hit the ball on the course as a complete beginner.
How Many Rules?
There are 25 Rules of Golf to be exact and under each rule are many sub points that make them read like a legal document. Golf is a game of integrity and with the exception of professional tournaments there are no referees, you are trusted and expected to follow the rules. Golf is one of the few sports where if you feel you have broken a rule you should self declare it.
It’s a lot to take in, but knowing the basics can make all the difference to ensure you play fairly, demonstrating respect to your playing partners and most importantly of all, respect for the game.
Etiquette
The definition of the word etiquette in the Oxford dictionary is: the customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members of a particular profession or group. The rules are to be followed, etiquette is the code of behaviour to be adhered to while playing.
There is no bigger give away that someone doesn’t have a clue what they are doing when they don’t know their golfing etiquette. There are so many discreet behaviours that are learned in the early days: being quiet and standing still when someone else is hitting, not standing too close, replacing divots, repairing pitch marks, pace of play, behaviour on the green…It’s not something that can be learned in a book, you have to have played, then when you know, you know.
The Lingo
Like most sports, golf has its own language and names for things. A golf course may just look like grass, but with its differing lengths, each part has a unique name. The scoring is not just numbers, and if you don’t know how to score properly, prepare for some strange looks. Hit a bad shot, that particular bad shot will have its own unique name. Hit a corker and that too will have a golf-specific term. Not knowing your golfing lingo is a quick giveaway to how little you’ve played and how little you know.
Dress Code
Golf has come a long way when it comes to relaxing dress codes, but golfers can still normally spot a fellow golfer out in the wild, queuing for their groceries. Collared shirts, smart trousers and skorts with a pair of golf shoes is still predominantly the look. However, the last five years has seen the introduction of hoodies, leggings and a far more athletic look being deemed acceptable.
If you are starting out in the game or going to give golf a one-off go, you will need a pair of proper golf shoes. Even though everyday trainers look like many of the latest soft spiked golf shoes, they will not cut it on the golf course.
Equipment
As much as golf has made strides in being accessible to all, what equipment you turn up to play with is a dead giveaway of how serious a golfer you really are. Golfers that know their onions will turn up with gear from one of the big names in golf.
By all means borrow a set of golf clubs from a relative or friend, but do try to make sure they were purchased in the last decade. To be fair to golf, this could be said of most sports, turn up to a cycling group on a Halfords mountain bike and you will stick out, rock up to play tennis with a wooden tennis racket… you get the picture. Rent some decent clubs and join the many golfers out there who embody the phrase, all the gear and no idea.
Putting
You’ve done the hard bit by getting the ball to the green, now for a putt. You’ve played crazy golf so it can’t be that hard, can it? More bad news here, what looks like a very simple task actually turns out to be the destroyer of many souls who try to roll that ball in the hole. It’s the deception of how simple putting looks that infuriates people.
Good golf courses don’t make it easy with discreet slopes and burrows. Taking a single or two putts is the goal, a 3-putt is a common and annoying occurrence, but any more and it will quickly become clear to all that you are a very inexperienced newbie.
What should be taken from this is not that golf is elitist and inaccessible, the last 20 years has seen golf participation reach new heights with the growth of the leisure golf sector and gamification of driving ranges. More people than ever are having a go and that is truly wonderful. But playing on a golf course requires some hard work and dedication to learning the game, its rules and how to make your way round. This is a good thing, if it was easy it wouldn’t be as special a game as it is.
I recently read that confidence is not about knowing how to do everything, it’s about being willing to give things a go, even when you’re unsure. Blagging you can play a game that does require some time and effort though is like saying you can drive a car without having ever sat in the driving seat.
So, be kind to yourself and save any potential embarrassment by not pretending you can play and take the first steps to learning properly by booking a lesson. Within just a few months you can be out there, but more importantly you will have done it the right way.
