If one year ago you asked me if I expected to be living in an 80-person hostel in London, with only four toilets and a room that smells like shit and that I may be allergic to — I would’ve said you’re dreaming. Well, I’m not dreaming, and this is the reality I live in right now.
What’s worse is that this isn’t even bad compared to other hostels I’ve stayed in during my recent travels. In Prague, I stayed in a 12-bed dorm which was impossible to sleep in due to the sound of people fucking and farting. In that very same hostel, this poor American guy had to change his pants because he accidentally sat in someone’s squirt.
In Paris, I had to bunk with an 80-year old man who set an alarm for 3am (not sure why) and didn’t even flinch when it blasted through the room at full volume. We also had to share a toilet that didn’t flush properly, so there were always little poo floaties in the bowl.
In Barcelona, I had to share a room with a guy who tried to mansplain Joe Rogan to me and in Amsterdam I got trapped on the top floor of my hostel because the lift stopped working. I had to eat this one girl’s sausage roll for sustenance.
The thing about all these stories is that I wouldn’t change them for the world. Looking back now ~it’s funny~ and at the very least it’s ~character building~. But after experiencing my fair share of horror stories, I was curious to uncover what other people’s cooked hostel stories were.
I decided to put the question to my millions