Learning that your partner cheated on you can hurt you immensely. But realizing that this happened right after they give birth can be beyond devastating. It’s not just awkward for the couple, though—the medical staff have to witness all of the drama that goes down, too.
Internet user u/NoTalentAzKlown sparked a massively viral discussion on r/AskReddit. A number of doctors and nurses shared what it was like in the delivery room after they helped deliver babies whose biological fathers were clearly not the moms’ partners. Read on for some of their experiences.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the popular thread, u/NoTalentAzKlown, and they were kind enough to answer our questions. You'll find our interview with the OP as you scroll down.
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We asked the author what couples could potentially do to move past one of them having been unfaithful. "I don't really know how you recover from a situation involving infidelity when a child is born," u/NoTalentAzKlown opened up to Bored Panda.
"It's a betrayal of trust and the child would be a constant reminder of that betrayal. But, every situation is different and I'm sure it's not navigated without a ton of communication and time to rebuild trust."
They added: "But, I would find it hard to believe it wouldn't linger in the relationship."
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Bored Panda was interested in getting u/NoTalentAzKlown's take on what the doctors and nurses might do to ease the tensions in the delivery room if the parents start arguing.
"The medical staff already has plenty of responsibilities so I would not want to place the burden on them," they shared their perspective. However, there are some steps that hospitals could take that might potentially de-escalate these sorts of situations.
"If they don't already, they could potentially have a counselor on-call for these kinds of situations. Or, a divorce lawyer. I'm sure most of those situations don't end well."
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I'm of Irish decent. Extremely pale, freckled, wavy dark hair and darker green eyes. My husband is half Native American, half German. Dark, **dark** hair and slightly wavy as well... My daughter came out with light light brown curly hair and ever so slight strawberry blonde pieces mixed throughout... *curls for days*
and the nurse goes "wow, where did you get that hair?!"
Knowing I had similar colour as a baby and my mother has kinky curly hair, my husband, in a room full of nurses goes "I DON'T KNOW JADED, WHERE DID SHE GET THAT HAIR?!"
I could have f*****g killed him.
Edit: Please no one tell my husband how much traction this story got, it'll just make him conceited and the jokes will get worse. I already have a rough time finding him hats.
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According to u/NoTalentAzKlow, they were shocked that their thread went so viral on Reddit. "I posted it pretty late in the evening and had no expectations that anyone would respond," they said.
"I originally posted it while watching 'Me, Myself & Irene' because that situation happens to the character played by Jim Carrey."
In their opinion, the topic connected with such a large online audience because it's a "grab your popcorn" situation.
"People love drama when they're not directly involved," the author told us.
According to one study from 2014, infidelity rates amongst married couples in the United States range from 20% to 40%. In cases where people hid their infidelity from their partners, the likelihood of divorce was 80% compared to 43% of cases where the infidelity was revealed.
Meanwhile, the divorce rate for couples that did not cheat stood at 23%. Couples that stayed married, whether or not there was any infidelity, were found to have better relationship satisfaction over time.
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#8
New born had chlamydia, got it from the mom, obviously. So the mom admits she was cheating on the dad, because there’s no other way to explain that one. Except- the dad was cheating too, with the other guy’s girlfriend, and all 4 of them had chlamydia, with no idea who had it first. They also had no idea who the actual dad was. That was a rodeo.
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There’s no easy answer to why someone decides to cheat on their partner. It really depends on the individual: their relationship dynamics, their hangups, their insecurities, their values, and their expectations.
One person might be unfaithful because their physical or emotional needs aren’t met. Another might cheat because they lack confidence, want to feel attractive, or… they simply have the opportunity.
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Verywell Mind explains that some of the main reasons married folks cheat include anger, low self-esteem, a lack of commitment to or from their partner, and a lack of love. Some other factors include neglect, a need for variety, and sexual desire.
The individual might have some serious emotional baggage that leads to their low self-esteem. Or they might lack empathy and simply not care about the consequences of their actions.
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While it’s possible to overcome infidelity, it’s not an easy task. For one, your partner might not want to forgive you. On top of that, you might need to reach out to a couples counselor for assistance. Whatever the case might be, the first step is to stop the affair, stop lying about it, and take responsibility for your actions.
The important thing is not to blame anyone else for the affair and not to try to justify your actions. You’ll need to give your partner some time and space to come to terms with the truth. And you’ll need to get ready for a lot of open and honest conversations about the future.
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My biology teacher went to high school with a woman who slept with her white boyfriend and went and slept with a black guy later that same day. She ended up with twins, each guy fathered one girl. One was white skinned and one was dark skinned. I think she came clean about it right away so it wasn’t a huge shock later.
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#18
Midwife from Australia here, craziest delivery I attended was a G17P15 (pregnant 17 times, 15 live children as a result of those pregnancies) and 3 different "dads" turned up over the short course of her labour with baby #15. They proceeded to have a fist fight about who was the "real" father and I had to call security to escort them out. Then followed with a call to child services.
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#21
Little different twist - I am Ukrainian. My great-grandfather was Crimean Tatar (who are mixed Turkic and Mongolian). My wife is Ukrainian and Italian. My first boy was blonde, my second was dark-haired, dark skinned, and has the classic almond-shaped Asiatic eyes. Mongolian Spot. Despite the fact that we know my family history, we ordered a test to make sure there was no "separation at birth" stuff (C-section). Yep, that's our boy. You would never know looking at us that that boy is genetically related to us. And we love him to pieces!
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Not me, but this happened to my grandma. Seventy years ago in South Africa, my great grandparents (white f, black m) had four kids. They all looked mixed race, till the youngest, my Aunt Jan, was born with bright blonde hair, blue eyes and white skin. Great Grandfather immediately left, claiming their mother had cheated with a white man. The now five kids were adopted out and moved to England.
Last year, my grandma's daughter (my aunt) hired a genealogist just to discover they were all genetically related, great grandmother didn't cheat, and they spend their lives in orphanages for no reason. My aunt wrote a book about it. It's real good.
Book is here
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