We all have intrusive thoughts from time to time. But we generally don’t follow through with them. Nor do we mention them aloud. Children, on the other hand, often don’t have any filter. Their minds are still developing, and they don’t yet have a firm grip on social norms.
So, many of them say and do whatever is front-of-mind for them. User u/TheEqualizer1212 started a slightly creepy discussion on r/AskReddit, where they asked parents to reveal the most unsettling things their kids have said or done. Scroll down for their stories. It’s a reminder that some parenting challenges are stranger than others and will almost definitely come as a surprise.
#1
When my daughter was learning her ABCs, one morning at breakfast she sang all the way through for the first time. We congratulated her and asked if she'd been practicing at day care.
Image credits: cnewman11
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the viral thread, u/TheEqualizer1212, and they were kind enough to answer our questions.
We were curious to learn about what inspired them to start the discussion in the first place.
"I was watching the movie Brightburn one day when I realised how having a child can be a two way street sometimes, with it occasionally ending up in ashes and others ending up beautifully where their parents get to see them grow as a person," they told Bored Panda.
#2
Image credits: BlackCatAttack666
We asked the OP for their thoughts about what parents ought to do if their kids said something truly unsettling.
"Try to explain to them that what they did was wrong and try to get the real life consequences of what they did across," they said.
"Full disclaimer however, I am not a parent. I do not have much say in that matter besides just logical assumptions," they added.
#3
Image credits: Quicily
Meanwhile, Bored Panda was curious what advice u/TheEqualizer1212 would give new parents who are a bit overwhelmed with childcare.
"Be patient. If your child can be seen doing something that isn't right, take your time to explain why and do so in a calm manner. The last thing you want is for your child to lose trust in you and do worse things behind your back," they suggested.
PsychCentral explains that children develop more and more empathy over time. As newborns, they might start crying when other babies in the vicinity cry. Though this is most likely a response to an uncomfortably loud noise, it’s the starting point of minimal self-awareness and putting oneself in another person’s shoes.
By the age of two, toddlers might try to connect another person’s discomfort with their own. For instance, they might give their parents a toy or some food if they see them crying. However, it’s still unclear if they understand what the adults are feeling or if they’re simply upset by how they’re behaving. By the age of four, though, kids start to associate their emotions with those of others. They might come over and comfort someone who’s in pain.
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#6
Dealing with these sorts of uncomfortable situations is a very delicate thing. On the one hand, you want your kids to understand the importance of honesty and being in touch with one’s feelings. As a parent, you want them to be able to come to you with any problems they have, whether they’re mundane or genuinely bizarre. If your kids know they can trust you and they won’t be judged, they’ll be more open.
On the flip side, being a healthy and functioning member of society requires understanding the local cultural norms and ‘getting’ social clues. If you plan on making friends and holding down a job, you need to understand what (not) to say.
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Image credits: BoredBSEE
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Image credits: anon
#9
I was putting my 3 year old to bed and she said, “mommy, can you tell me a story where we all get electrocuted."
Image credits: SunnyTheToad
Just as important (if not more) is how we say something. We can be honest about our thoughts and feelings while still presenting that information in a more—shall we say—‘palatable’ way.
In the meantime, let’s not pretend that every thought or feeling we have is stellar. Much of it is fluff and randomness. If someone were to act on everything that came into their mind, they’d probably make their family and friends worried and call the local hospital in the span of minutes.
Not every thought or feeling has to be acknowledged. We need self-awareness and good internal filters to find the signal among the noise.
#10
Image credits: psnugbootybug
#11
Image credits: Sterling_Johnson
#12
Image credits: anon
What parents can do is talk to their kids about how their words and actions affect the people around them. The vast majority of us might be born with a sense of empathy, but it’s still a social skill that needs to be honed. And a kid’s family members are in the perfect position to set a good example.
What’s important here is the willingness to communicate. Parents who take the time to listen and then explain to their munchkins why we don’t do one thing or another show that they’re willing to talk about everything. Even if it’s uncomfortable.
They’re open to hearing their kids’ thoughts, too. This is far healthier than ignoring the situation entirely or telling your children to stop doing/saying strange things without going into detail about why it makes others feel bad.
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Image credits: Espelancer
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What’s the creepiest thing that you’ve ever heard or seen a child do, dear Pandas? What do you personally think is the healthiest way to react to situations like this? Which of the stories featured in this post weirded you out the most?
If you're feeling up to it, share your thoughts in the comments.
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