Middle children often get to be the butt of the joke. Overlooked, underappreciated, and forgotten. But did you know that more than half of U.S. presidents were middle children? Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, and John F. Kennedy were all middleborns. Got to get that attention somehow...
Wondering what it’s like being a middle child? We’ve got just the compilation for you! Here’s a list of the funniest posts and tweets about the fate of the middle child. As a middle child myself, I can say that I relate to most of them. And I agree that Kevin from Home Alone should’ve been a middle child. No one has ever forgotten the youngest one in my family; that honor was always bestowed upon me!
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It's hard to say whether being the middle child is really the worst. The fact is that every child can claim they weren't loved enough or didn't receive enough attention. Firstborns may think they get the least of it because parents often dote on the younger ones. The eldest child might need to take on some parent-like responsibilities, especially if there's a considerable number of siblings in the home.
The youngest might feel neglected because they're not included in the sibling group, or the parents just don't have the time to spare with all the other kids around. A mom once told me that the youngest kid is the easiest. "They practically raise themselves," she said. I wouldn't say I agree, but there is some truth to it. In my experience, parents stress about things with the youngest one way less, possibly resulting in a more relaxed, permissive type of parenting.
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Experts say that birth order does play a part in the forming of our personalities. Kevin Leman, Ph.D., a distinguished psychologist who has studied birth order since 1967 and wrote The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, says that parents treat children differently based on their birth order.
And then there are also sibling relationships. They also form our personalities, depending on whether we're the oldest, the middle, or the youngest child. And let's not forget those who are only children; they have their unique characteristics as well. Experts say they're mature for their age, diligent, perfectionist leaders. But that's in broad strokes, of course.
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Middle-child syndrome isn't actually recognized as an official condition. So far, it's only a theory psychologists like Leman and Alfred Adler did research on. What's more, researchers have trouble applying the same common characteristics to all middle children. They claim there are many more factors that influence an individual's personality.
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Still, there are some characteristics they claim many middle children might have. For example, middle children tend to be more independent from their families. "They're usually the first of their siblings to take a trip with another family or to want to sleep at a friend's house," Linda Dunlap, Ph.D., explains. When they're adults, they also might be the first of all the siblings to move out, and, possibly, the farthest away.
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Middle children also thrive on friendships. They might have a wider social circle than their siblings. They rely on their parents, brothers, and sisters less because they believe their family members don't value them as much. However, for them, the quality of their friendships trumps quantity. Parenting author Monica Swanson writes: "Middle children are said to be careful who they open up to, often keeping their feelings to themselves."
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The good news is that psychologists say middle children are good negotiators. They're often the peacekeepers in the family because they have to learn to "fit in" once the younger sibling(s) arrive. The other side of the coin is that they might be people-pleasers. Since they don't get the attention they want at home, they seek approval from other people, becoming diplomatic and adaptable.
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However, middle children also have a rebellious streak. At least, that's the case if the oldest sibling is structured and responsible. If the eldest is a rebel, the middle child might be the responsible one. Kevin Leman, Ph.D., explains that middle children are hard to pin down because they often play off the eldest sibling. So, in a sense, middle children might try to be as different from the eldest as possible.
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There's one more interesting trait that many middle children share: being most likely to remain faithful in marriage. Dr. Leman told Business Insider that since middle kids are so good at compromising and negotiating, they make their marriages work. Middle children also tend to be satisfied with marriage in general.
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Actual research on the topic of birth order and common personality traits is contradicting. There are studies that show middle children are more likely to engage in delinquent behavior. On the other hand, other researchers found that middle children can be prone to maladaptive perfectionism. And a 2015 study concluded that there is no "lasting effect" of birth order on "broad personality traits."
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Ultimately, birth order doesn't dictate every facet of your personality. I, too, would love to believe that all my bad habits and traits are a result of my parents deciding to conceive me second. However, there are many more factors at play: financial, social, even geographical. Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., and Bill Gates were also middle children. And if the middle child syndrome is real, I feel like I'm in good company!
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