Most of us know how incredibly important it is to live next to people who we like (or at least tolerate). When you get along with your neighbors, things are great. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true! A truly bad neighbor—likely from the 5th circle of hell—can make you miserable. And you should see how poorly they communicate…
Our team here at Bored Panda has curated a list of images showing what kinds of messages and notes some awful neighbors have actually sent. Some of them are relatable, and others might make you laugh through tears. Scroll down to see how nonsensical and frustrating things can get.
Bored Panda got in touch with social psychologist Alison Jane Martingano, Ph.D., for a chat about how people can connect with the people in their neighborhood, as well as how to have empathy for problematic neighbors. Martingano is an assistant professor at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, the host of the 'Psychology and Stuff' podcast, and runs the 'What Do You Mean?' blog on Psychology Today. You'll find our full interview with her below.
#1 These Are Some Nice Neighbors
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#2 Hey Look At You
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#3 You've Got Mail
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
According to Social Psychologist Martingano from the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, most adults are “missing out” on the benefits of talking to people they don’t (yet!) know. "People miss out on these benefits for three main reasons: lack of intention (underestimating the joy of these conversations for themselves and others), lack of competence (not knowing how to hold these conversations), and lack of opportunity," she explained to Bored Panda in an email.
The host of the ‘What Do You Mean?’ blog said that people need to overcome these barriers in order to promote conversations with their neighbors. “First, individuals may not want to talk to strangers, or [they] believe strangers do not want to talk to them. People have a good sense that a conversation with a friend will be enjoyable, but with strangers, we are anxious and more likely to assume it will go badly."
There is, however, a very positive caveat! "Research shows that people enjoy conversations with strangers more than they expect!" Martingano shared with us.
#4 At Least They All Took The Time To Discuss It And Write A Note vs. Telling Them Immediately
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#5 My Friend Came Home To Find This Note On His Door
Image credits: saved_by_Singularity
#6 Meet The Parents
Image credits: neighborsfromhel
"We also underestimate the other person's interest in conversing. Looking for things like positive body language, eye contact, and smiling can provide clues that they might want to chat," she said.
"Second, people may feel they don't have competent interpersonal skills to break the ice and start a conversation with a neighbor. We worry about being likable and appearing competent but don’t know how to create these impressions. Generally, asking questions and sharing something a bit personal can create a positive impression."
She continued: "Third, folks may simply not see the opportunities in their everyday lives to speak to someone new. We often don’t think of bumping into our neighbor in the hall as an opportunity. If we go a little slower, we may see that there are more opportunities than we think."
#7 Oops
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#8 Probably Not The Response She Was Hoping For
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#9 The Ending To This Note On The Little Library In My Neighborhood Definitely Takes A Turn
Image credits: northcarolinee96
Bored Panda was interested in finding out how people can have more empathy for their neighbors who are known to cause them trouble. After all, at least some friction and misunderstandings are inevitable between people who live in close proximity to one another.
"To foster empathy in these situations, it's crucial to practice perspective-taking. This involves actively trying to understand the experiences, motivations, and feelings of our neighbors, especially in challenging circumstances. As I often discuss in my talks, empathy is like a muscle that requires regular exercise," Martingano said.
However, she warned that people can overwork their empathy 'muscle' or they can try to 'pick up' a weight that's too heavy for them at the moment. "In cases of friction with neighbors, you don’t want to start trying to practice empathy by discussing their opposing political views. Begin with smaller exercises. For example, ask them what they think about the new garbage collection system or school bus route. Areas of minor disagreement can be a great place to start practicing seeing things from someone else's point of view before picking up the larger dumbbells," the expert suggested.
#10 Directionally Challenged
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#11 Joy-Hating Neighbor Writes Psychotic Threatening Note
Image credits: L0v3Ly88
#12 Things You Can't Borrow: Children, Decency, Respect
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
The interesting thing is that you can ‘exercise’ your empathy, even without any real people. “We can practice empathy while reading by trying to understand the feelings and motivations of fictional characters. Movies, theater, and even visual arts like the enigmatic Mona Lisa can serve as tools to enhance empathy. Think of these experiences as your empathy gym, a place where you can exercise your empathy muscles in a fictional environment, without the risk of offending anyone," Martingano told Bored Panda via email.
"Then, when you find yourself in a challenging exchange, where it's harder to discern feelings or perspectives of your neighbors, your empathy muscles will be stronger, thanks to these smaller, manageable practices."
#13 A Note In The Elevator In Los Angeles For The Downstairs Neighbor
Image credits: jmarcmusic
#14 When Life Doesn't Give You Lemons, Make Stolen Lemonade
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#15 Pretty Bush League Parenting
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
In an ideal world, we’d all know and like our neighbors. We’d also all probably live in such a way that there’s a good balance between privacy and being social when we want it. And we’d all be able to solve any issues that crop up because we’d be proficient in diplomacy, clear communication, active listening, and looking for compromises.
We don’t know whether you’ve noticed it or not, but we certainly do not live in an ideal world. Tension and friction can and do lead to arguments between neighbors over everything and anything: noise, rudeness, annoying behaviors, bad habits, zoning issues, etc. Far from everyone’s capable of overcoming these neighborly challenges and miscommunication with grace and calmness. The reality is that fewer people know their neighbors now than decades ago.
Nor is everyone self-aware enough to admit that they might, in fact, be causing problems for someone else. Many people have an ego. When you bring up a problem with their behavior, they can get defensive or aggressive. Some people are so touchy that they even see friendly requests about not playing the music so bloody loud at night as a personal affront. How dare anyone not like their massive midnight parties on a work night?!
#16 Note That Got Left On My Neighbor's Car After He Parked Crooked And Hit The Car Next To Him
Image credits: Dapper_John
#17 Passive-Aggressive Note
Image credits: Dashooz
#18 There Is A Dumpster That Is Illegally Taking Up A Parking Spot On My Street With A Note Saying Not To Use It
I’d been leaving other notes making fun of their note. Today, someone else joined in.
Image credits: thehofstetter
The first step to overcoming any issue with your neighbors is talking to them about the issue itself. You can leave them a friendly little note, send them a message (if you have their number or you’re connected on social media!), or chat with them the next time you see them outside. However, if it’s a more pressing problem that’s literally impacting your day-to-day life, consider walking up to their front door and asking them if you can talk for a couple of minutes.
We all enjoy seeing justice being done. Naturally, when we confront someone who’s done us wrong, we imagine all sorts of scenarios where we come out on top and our neighbors are remorseful for their God-awful behavior. But reality is often very different from our power fantasies. The fact is that if you start off the conversation angry, judgmental, and confrontational, you’re only making things worse.
It’s usually best to be as cool and collected as possible. Start your conversation with your neighbor in a friendly or neutral manner. Explain the situation to them. Tell them how their behavior impacts you and how it makes you feel. You should try to avoid outright blaming them for things, even if they are 100% in the wrong. Remember, your goal is to get them to stop their current behavior and become more neighborly. If they start resenting you, they might make your life hell just because they can get a rise out of you.
#19 Passive Aggression Level Up
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#20 You’re Gonna Need Chlorine For Your Eyes And Your Hot Tub
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#21 Can't Really Argue With A Chill Bunny
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
Many people are perfectly reasonable. They’re willing to come to a compromise with you when they realize they’re in the wrong. But it’s essential that you take the time to actively listen to their perspective, too. Show them that you’re understanding and reasonable (so long as they’ll be the same…).
Take the time to connect with your problem neighbors… at least on a superficial level. It’s more difficult to do nasty things to people we personally know and like. Finding or creating some common ground between all of you can help you solve any future problems much more easily. And you never know, you might genuinely end up becoming cordial in the future.
#22 Mailbox Damaged - Found This Note
Image credits: BiggestSur
#23 But What I Do Have Are A Very Particular Set Of Skills, Skills I Have Acquired Over A Very Long Career, Skills That Make Me A Nightmare For People Like You
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#24 Love And Parking
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
Some of us have had experiences where problematic people eventually become our friends. But you won’t get there by accident. You need to put in the effort to get to know them. That might mean taking a few minutes to talk to them in the hallway or driveway. Or it may mean that you’ll be putting in the energy to get to know them at your local events. Consider inviting them to a barbeque or neighborhood party if you’re throwing one, too.
However, let’s not be naive. Not everyone is rational. Not everyone is reasonable. Not everyone is willing to set aside their ego and admit that they’re the jerk in a particular situation. Self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and humility take concerted effort over a long time to develop. So if your friendly chat (or two, or three!) doesn’t get through to your neighbor, it’s time to escalate things. Talk to your local council, building administrator, or neighborhood association about the problem. Ask them to mediate the conflict.
#25 If You Want The Snacks, You’ll Get The Vax
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#26 Time To Unleash Some Kung Pau Vengeance
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#27 My Friend Got This Concerned Note Through Her Letterbox This Morning
Image credits: _River_Song_
If the local organizations and administrators can’t seem to get anything done, you might need to get in touch with your local law enforcement. In these situations, it helps if you have some evidence to back your claims up. You don’t want everything to devolve into a “we said/they said” sort of deal where your neighbors will go back to their old habits the moment the officers leave. In the worst-case scenarios, you will want to talk to your lawyer about taking your neighbors to court if they are actively harming you and damaging your property.
#28 What Is Wrong With People? Open Your Own Mail
Image credits: CashmirFunk
#29 Jeepers Peepers
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#30 The Lady And The Tramp
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
What's the strangest message or note you've ever gotten from a neighbor? Have you ever had to deal with problematic neighbors yourselves, Pandas? Feel free to share your experiences in the comments. In the meantime, for some more troublesome neighbor stories, check out Bored Panda's previous posts.
#31 A Friend Of Mine Has Received This Note From The Guy Next Door
Image credits: imgur.com
#32 Neighbor Had A Note On Their Door, I Had A Follow-Up Note
The first note says: "Hey I'm glad y'all are having s*x but if you could tone it down some and scoot your bedframe away from the wall I would appreciate it.
Thanks, your neighbor"
Image credits: ZzMeSs1aHzZ
#33 Please Rank In Order
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#34 When Your Pet Is Also A Looney Tunes Character
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#35 An Invitation
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#36 Friend's Neighbors Have Been Keeping Her Up At Night, So She Decided To Leave Them A Note
Image credits: ElloJelloMelloFello
#37 Note From A Neighbor And My Response - Is It Okay?
For the record, I was not playing music and I am alone (as usual) tonight. So I do think she had the wrong apartment. I don't know, not sure what to do.
Image credits: mrhappyfriend
#38 So I Got This Note On My Car, The Second Picture Is My Daily Parking Situation
Image credits: culnaej
#39 My Landlord Texted Me This After He Kicked My Sweet Elderly Neighbor Out Of Our Duplex So He Could Move In
Image credits: MitziVinyl
#40 Asking Someone In 2021 If They Know Covid Like It’s The Muffin Man
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#41 Note Left On Car Of Disabled Neighbor's Social Worker
Image credits: The_winner_man
#42 A Merry Christmas From Your Friendly Neighbor
Image credits: lolanovaro
#43 The Same Cranked Out Neighbor Who Left Us A Note Last Year About Our Other Dog Barking Left Us One Today
Keep in mind he lives in a shed in his mom's backyard like ten feet away from my fence. He's also the same guy who blows through the stop sign and flies around the neighborhood like he owns it. Man, I hate tweakers.
Image credits: nailheadbrent
#44 A Neighbor Continues To Park In Front Of My House, Even After Leaving Them Several Polite Notes. This Is My Latest Reaction
Image credits: victoria_antonia
#45 Where’s Jason Voorhees When You Need Him?
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#46 Snake In The Grass
#47 Because It’s Too Much Work To Just Look Down
Image credits: neighborsfromhell
#48 My Neighbor Is A Charmer
Image credits: edmundkaz
#49 So It Rained Yesterday And I Got This Friendly Note Blaming My Dog For The Rain. Hung With A Command Strip With The Pull Tab Cut-Off
Image credits: Probably-a-dude
#50 Neighbors
Image credits: Scarfield
