There are many irritating stereotypes associated with golf and most are unfounded or outdated – The idea that golf is only for the elite, the idea that golf is only for overweight oldies in Argyle sweaters, the idea that golf is not environmentally focused, the idea that golfers are snobbish and, one that I really dislike, the idea that golf is a marriage wrecker. The plight of golf widows and widowers has long been depicted in sitcoms and daytime dramas. I’m imagining now, an episode of Midsomer Murders - The Old Colonel blustering through the kitchen with his golf clubs and golden retriever as his long-suffering wife looks wistfully at the carving knives.
No doubt there are instances of golfing widows or widowers who feel left out. But I think their numbers are dwarfed by those in relationships that are bolstered by one or both partners’ involvement in golf.
Golf is good for you both mentally and physically. The sport should keep you fitter and make you happier. If you’re a fitter and happier person, you’re likely to be nicer to be around and be in a better frame of mind to deal with the challenges of everyday life.
That’s simple stuff really, isn’t it? You don’t need to be a clinical psychologist to recognise that relationships are more likely to flourish, thrive and survive if the participants are happy and healthy. Golf can put you in a good place, and if your relationship is not currently in a good place, maybe now is the time to hit the fairways. Here are five ways golf could save your marriage.
1. Much needed time together
A great thing about golf is that it can be played together by people of all ages and of both sexes. The handicap system, the teeing options, the huge range of equipment available – all are geared to make golf universally playable. If you and your partner both play golf, it’s the ideal activity to enjoy together. It’s a proper day out, a chance to talk, share experience and just be with one another. It’s a physical activity but one where there’s also a great social side offering the chance to meet and spend time with other couples. The chance for a bite to eat in the clubhouse after the game. The chance to enjoy a little (hopefully) friendly competition with your other half whilst relishing the fresh air and the beauty of the golfing environment.
Even if only one of you in the relationship plays golf, the other can get something out of it. Take a walk around the golf course watching the other one play. Meet after the game for a drink in the bar. Go to social events at the club. Golf provides a goodly number of activities for couples to enjoy together, not just on the golf course.
2. Much Needed time apart
Here’s the flip side. In most marriages, people benefit from a little “me” time. Not only does golf allow for time spent together. It also provides a great opportunity for you to spend constructive time apart. It’s healthy to enjoy your own activities, to socialise with friends outside the “couples'” sphere.
You’ll feel a great deal more positive about home life if you have the chance to spend a few hours apart and then reconvene to compare notes on your respective activities. Maybe both of you might be playing golf, just in different social groups.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, so a little time apart playing on different fairways (whether literally or hypothetically) is good for a relationship. You do have to be careful to get the balance right of course. If one of you disappears on a solo, six-month, round the world golfing extravaganza for example… well, there’s only so fond the heart can get!
3. Perseverance
Golf has a great deal to teach us about humility, integrity and general good behaviour. It’s also an activity that requires extraordinary resilience and perseverance. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and challenge, just like golf and, also like golf, marriage requires you to work hard to continue to get the most out of it. Golf encourages you not to give up, to bounce back, to roll with the punches and continue to fight for something worthwhile.
When you have a bad round, even after plenty of lessons and countless hours reading the best golf tips, you don’t just throw in the golf towel. You think of ways you can rectify the problem. Strengthen your grip, widen your stance or buy a new putter.
When you have an argument with your partner, you don’t throw in the bath towel. You think of ways you can rectify the problem. Strengthen your drinks, widen the marital bed, buy a new dog.
4. Swinging Golf Club Social Life
Whether you both play golf or not, the social side of the game is great for couples. The golf club will be a hub of the community where you can meet people from different social backgrounds, perhaps people you wouldn’t meet otherwise. Not only does the club provide a go-to spot for drinks and eats of an evening or weekend but it will also run social functions like prize nights, dances and other entertainment. If you’re a member of a golf club, you have a bolted on social life that you and your other half can enjoy together or separately. Golf clubs are famed for their “swinging” social scenes.
5. The Realisation Marriage is Actually Quite Easy
If you can get up and down from a plugged lie in the greenside bunker on the 8th, you can deal with that leaky tap in the back bathroom. If you can hold your temper when yet another par putt lips out to cost you a place in the final of the club knockout, you can keep your cool when you discover your other half has just used the very last squeezing of toothpaste.
It's unbelievably hard to be good at golf and very few people manage it. Relatively speaking, quite a lot of people manage to be good at marriage.
Put equal levels of effort into golf and your partner and you’ll realise just how easy the latter actually is. Anytime you think your relationship is on the rocks, think about your ball bouncing around the rocks in the penalty area on the 18th. Put it in perspective, it’s just a little tiff, not a two shot penalty! Start thinking like that and golf could save your marriage.
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