It is a well-known fact that you hate ducks. Why?
First of all, they have weird penises. It’s a corkscrew penis. If there are aliens on Earth, they should look into ducks. They’re also aggressive for no reason. It’s not a lifelong vendetta, but they have a few characteristics that I find discomforting. I’ve eaten a duck or two, smoked a duck. First you smoke it for 20 minutes at 350F. Then you put it in the oven for 45 minutes. I have my own personal duck smoker on my rider. I get to the venue: “I hope you’ve got the smoker up and running, I’m absolutely starving.” You’ll usually find me smoking a duck in the lot before a gig.
Should ketchup be kept in the cupboard or fridge?
Being an Australian, it’d be right there in the cupboard because that’s what grandma did. It’s a generational thing. Some could refer to it as generational sauce trauma, but that’s just where my family is at.
Your new solo album is called Blood on the Drums. What’s the dumbest way you’ve injured yourself?
I was 14, camping with my family. We thought it’d be a great bonding experience, but it was tragic. There was torrential rain, the tent was under two feet of water, so we slept in the car. I’d got a skim board for Christmas and thought: “I’m not going to let torrential rain stop me,” and went down to the beach. As I went to throw it down, I snapped my arm all the way back to my elbow. As a drummer, that was detrimental to my paradiddles. Paradiddles are a drummer thing: two single strokes followed by a double stroke, so right, left, right, right. There’s a smörgåsbord of paradiddles on my new album for those looking out for them.
Who in 5 Seconds of Summer has the smallest head?
Calum, by a mile. I have an extremely large head. I can’t just walk in to any old hat store because I have a size 11, which is pretty rare. Best of luck to everyone else with a big head. The world wasn’t made for us.
If summer really only lasted for five seconds, what would you do?
Rug up. Get cosy. Brace yourself. Put on your North Face. I guess that’s my philosophy on life: if I can’t savour it, I don’t think I’d even bother.
Before 5SOS, there was your first band, Swallow the Goldfish. Have you ever really swallowed a goldfish?
I was at high school with my best mate Blake. We were two emo kids who loved emo music and heavy metal, so we started a band. We thought we needed a name you could remember. Swallow the Goldfish was the most effective we could come up with.
Blake went on to do air-conditioning and I continued to play drums. I would’ve done anything, but that band didn’t fly, so the goldfish wasn’t swallowed.
The 5SOS song Girls Talk Boys is on the Ghostbusters soundtrack. Have you ever seen a ghost?
I saw the ghost of a wartime little girl in my house. A couple days later, my mum saw the same thing. I grew up in a house from the second world war era that was shipped to Australia from Sweden. The ghost must have shipped over with it. I don’t know if that’s possible in the quantum realm. Are ghosts linked to location or can they travel? But I definitely saw one.
How many times have you been for a wee in Sydney Opera House?
Sydney’s uptight these days. When we played the Opera House forecourt, they said: “The crew doesn’t have access to the toilets inside. You guys will have to bring your own.” It cost five grand a day to put porta-potties out back. They don’t want you using the toilets inside, so we had to bring our own BYO toilet. Anywhere I have to pay to use the bathroom I think is inhumane. It’s 100% true.
What does James Corden smell like?
A lovely, really high-end cologne with a little bit of Carlsberg.
When did you last cry?
It was my 30th birthday three days ago. I had a little cry to myself, which I think is acceptable. I took a moment and thought: “My 20s were amazing, but shit, those days are gone forever” and shed a tear.
Ashton Irwin’s new album Blood on the Drums is out now
