Helicopter parenting (a parent's over-involvement in their child's life) can be driven by many factors, including societal pressure to ensure academic and extracurricular success, and the rapid evolution of technology that allows for non-stop monitoring and communication.
But it can backfire. In reality, the practice often limits the kid's opportunities to build resilience, learn problem-solving skills, and become independent, placing additional burdens on their shoulders to carry into the future.
To show you how all of this manifests, we put together a collection of posts about parents who can't stop micromanaging their children's lives.
#1 Man Elegantly Destroys Helicopter Parent
Image credits: RedditDaniil
#2 I Synced My Calendar With My Mum And Forgot I Have My Birth Control Implant Replacement Date Marked 3 Years From Now. She Saw It And Texted Me This While I Was At Work. I’m 20
Image credits: Recifeeder
The frustration of the people who made these posts is understandable. Researchers from the University of Virginia discovered that teens who grew up with psychologically controlling parents struggle with relationships and educational achievements even as adults.
"What we found was that kids who had parents who displayed more overcontrolling behavior tended to struggle in tasks that require assertiveness and independence and autonomy throughout development," said Emily Loeb, a postdoctoral researcher who was the lead author of the study.
"So by the time the kids were adults, they were in romantic relationships where there wasn't as much support being given. By 32, they achieved less education relative to those who had less psychological control, and they were less likely to be in a romantic relationship at all by age 32."
#3 There Is A Shooter Somewhere On Campus But My Mom Is More Concerned With Me Missing My Lab Practical
Image credits: GlaireWolf
#4 I’ve Been At College For One Day. He Dropped Me Off Yesterday. It’s Orientation Week
Image credits: Hamilfan16
#5 Ladies And Gentlemen, My Mother After I Disabled Tracking Location App On My Phone, I Am 21 Years Old
Image credits: JaimeAH
The results come from a longitudinal study involving 184 young people from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, tracking them from ages 13 to 32.
The study took into account family income, gender (about half the group was male and half female), and a person's grade-point average at the age of 13.
Loeb's team also measured the participants' psychosocial maturity to discern how well they take into account others' perspectives and think about social situations in a nuanced way.
#6 So Proud Of Myself
Image credits: poster74
#7 Idk If This Counts As Insane, But Still An Invasion Of Privacy (For Context I Hand My Phone In To My Mum At 8:30 And That Is Why She Had It)
Image credits: SwedishGoose524
#8 My Mom Thinks If I Take My Dogs Outside To Pee When It’s Dark That I Will Die/Be Murdered/Abducted. 5 Mins Before Sunset I’m Perfectly Safe Though. Note To Add, I’m 25 And Have Lived 400 Miles From Home For 8 Years. Didn’t Take My Dogs Out Until 11:30 So Suck On That Mom
Image credits: Cats_Dogs_Dawgs
#9 My Sister's Twitter Account.... She's 23yo And My Mom Still Does This
Image credits: we_need_more_wine
"We asked people at their schools to rate how much they would want to spend a Saturday night with this particular person," Loeb said.
"We gathered all the readings, and that was a measure of what we call 'sociometric popularity' – so, 'How much do kids just like them and want to spend time with them?'"
The researchers also asked the 13-year-olds about various symptoms of depression.
#10 They Hid This To See What I Was Eating And Seeing If I Was Up Late. Im 19 Btw
Image credits: ludoms100
#11 Getting Tracked At 20 By My Antivaxx Conspiracy Theory Mom. Finally Convinced Her To Delete The Tracking App Though
Image credits: jboy1229
#12 Nothing Major. She Just Wanted To Know Why I Didn’t Return Her Text That Was Sent 5 Minutes Before The First Call
Image credits: Hear2Read
The researchers filmed the study participants with their closest friends at 13 and had them ask their friends for some support or advice on an issue and studied their meeting.
"We coded the interaction for the amount of support shown [during it]," Loeb said.
#13 I Need More Opinions. I'm 22 F Living On My Own And My Parents Still Want To Have Control On What I Buy. It Is Not Making Me Any More Frugal When She Yells At Me For Spending Too Much
Image credits: [deleted]
#14 I'm 18nb And My Mom Sent Me Out To Get A Table And Chairs For Her. I Was Gone For 20 Mins And Didn't Respond To Her Calls. This Is The Result. I Have To Laugh
Image credits: rhysceleste
#15 I Pity Those With Helicopter Parents
Image credits: mynameisethan182
#16 There’s A Word For Not Allowing Your Kids To Socialize Outside The Family. Starts With Letter G
Image credits: derpwild
The team replicated this scenario with romantic partners when the study participants were 27 years old and again when they were 32.
“We found [problems were going] on in mid-adolescence that helped explain that they were less liked by their peers," Loeb explained. “So fewer people said, 'Yeah, I'd like to spend time with them on a Saturday night.' And they were less mature in terms of balancing perspective and thinking about things in a nuanced way."
#17 I'm 22
Image credits: dickincherrykoolaid
#18 Am I Crazy Or Is This Toxic !? I Am 18 In Highschool And My Mother Threatens Not Sending Me To College If I Don’t Spend Time With Her
Image credits: Strange-Ad-7764
#19 I’m Going To An Iron Maiden Concert. I’m Also Almost 30
Image credits: cothromaiochta66
#20 My Lovely Mother
Image credits: u/wheekyy_x3
Loeb believes these findings are important because people – be they clinicians, parents, or educators – are always seeking the right balance when trying to guide children.
"[I'm] not saying you can’t have rules," Loeb added, "but it’s very important that parents do let kids think for themselves and let them express opinions that are different than [their own]."
While the examples shown in the pictures are extreme, it's clear that independence in our early life makes for a healthier adulthood.
#21 Someone Who I Know Received This From Her Dad. Context In The Comments
She doesn't like being financially dependent on her parents at Uni and so wants to get a loan and a job and supply for herself. She is also about to visit her parents and wants to also see her boyfriend when she is down. They live 6 hours away and it costs £100 for the train and they are both so busy they've only seen eachother once since being at Uni. Her parents won't let her and say that she has to spend the entirety of her reading week with them and is disgusting for wanting to be away from them. This isn't the first time something like this has happened.
Image credits: TheTedstar
#22 I’m A Turkey Because I Don’t Want To Download An App So My Mom Can Track Me
Image credits: B1narypwny
#23 Girlfriend's Mother
Image credits: reddit.com
#24 I Just Have No Words For How Bats**t This Lady Is
Image credits: je_suis_un_negre
#25 Yes Karen, You Are A Helicopter Mom
Image credits: IamNotaMonkeyRobot
#26 I Am 22 Years Old, Living On My Own With My Husband, And My Dad Still Trys To Control What I Do
Image credits: MustangLover22
#27 Text That My Narcissistic Step-Dad Sent His 16 Year Old Daughter (My Sister) The Blanked Out Name Is Me. He Posted This Screenshot On Instagram Bragging About His Great “Parenting Skills”
Image credits: minapenna
#28 2nd Post From Karen Infiltration
Image credits: Pat_thailandball
#29 Went To Visit My Boyfriend For The Weekend And My Mom Decided To Text Me This While I Was Sleeping, Im An Adult Btw
Image credits: wide_peepo_hap
#30 This Is My Mother Who’s Gone Back To College
Image credits: nick95ross
