Unlike family, which can be a toss-up, we tend to have the luxury to pick and choose who we become friends with. This is part of the reason some people even end up being a lot closer to their friends than their actual families. But sometimes even a “friend” might end up doing something that you can’t really come back from.
Someone asked “What was the worst thing your friend did that completely ruined your friendship?” and netizens shared their stories. We got in touch with therapist Yolanda Renteria to learn more. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to write your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.
#1
I always put the effort in, making conversation and trying to make plans. A lot of time I saw they had read my messages but it was hours or even days before a reply. So one day I decided to stop and wait to see how long it took for them to message me first... Happened about two weeks later to ask me for lift to work. I said my car was in for service (it wasn't) and nothing ever since.
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#2
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#3
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Bored Panda got in touch with therapist Yolanda Renteria and she was kind enough to share some of her thoughts on this topic. Firstly, we wanted to hear what red flags she would recommend people look out for in their friend group.
“People who are highly critical, who put you down, who don't recognize your efforts, and who aren't there when you need them. Your friend group should be a place where you feel inspired, energized, and uplifted,” she shared.
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We wanted to know why boundaries are a vital part of any relationship and why some folks struggle to keep them. “Boundaries are important because they help your friends know how you want to be treated in relationships, what you like and don't like, what you will accept and won't accept. They are like a guide for your friend group of what you expect in friendships.”
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#9
“People who struggle setting boundaries with friends typically struggle setting boundaries in all of their relationships. Difficulty setting boundaries typically comes from two places - 1) being afraid of upsetting others or losing friendships 2) feeling unworthy of healthy treatment. Both tend to come from childhood wounds,” she shared with Bored Panda.
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#11
Found out they were telling friends and family that I didn't attend their wedding because I got fat and was too embarrassed to come. In reality, it was during covid and they were open about the fact that their family were anti vax and anti mask. Considering I'd be traveling 5 hours by plane from a big city, I didn't want to be blamed if their rural wedding became a superspreader event.
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#12
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“Healthy boundaries are the only way for people to have healthy relationships with their friends. Yes, some friends might make fun or dismiss your boundaries, but that is a sign for you of the health of the friendship. At the very least, you friends should be open to listening to what's important to you.” you can find more of her work on her website and Instagram.
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#30
I was 12 and eating lunch at school. Not popular at all but I managed. Saw my only close friend having to eat on his own because our table was full so got up to join him and sit with him. He simply stood up and sat in the seat I had just left.
I lost contact with him, but I will never forget feeling so shot down in my entire life, it changed the way I interact with people for the worse.After a breakup, she went to a church that recruits. One Sunday she texted me about the good news and then tried to save me from homosexuality and then degraded my beliefs.Friend of 20 years. Lived together for almost a decade. Lied about Everything for Years. Found out one night when her boyfriend told me I was the problem in their relationship. I asked what he meant. We went down the rabbit hole. She had been lying to me about him and lying to him about me. She lied about things that happened with our families, her exes, our other friends, my pets. It was like pulling a thread on a sweater, and boy did it unravel. Some of the things she lied about were weird and trivial but others were horribly manipulative and cruel.I had a whole friend group that hated me (I didn't know that obviously). One year for my birthday, they all said they were coming to my party. I kept getting texts individually saying things like "on my way" and " be there soon".
But in reality, they all met up with eachother and were making fun of me the whole time. They also texted others that the party was canceled or just not to show up and to hang with them instead.She invited the guy who cheated on me with the girl he is cheating with to have dinner at her house.I was going through hell and for 6 months she never asked how I was. When I tried to talk to her about it and how hurt I was she made it about her.We had a mutual friend who was transgender and not out (he had transitioned but fully passed as a man and didn’t advertise the fact he wasn’t born male). The two of them got into some really stupid fight and for some reason my friend got so mad they decided to out him. They went back in his mom’s private facebook to find pictures of him pre-transition and posted them online with his birth name and a whole transphobic rant. They had always been supportive so it was completely out of left field. We lived in a small town where word spread quickly and most people were NOT accepting to trans people, so it really affected him.I had a friend who, at a gathering of friends and family, became upset with the jokes they were playing. Provocations from comrades, no big deal. However, he pulled out a gun and pointed it at the house owner's head in front of everyone. The next day he came to apologize, blaming the drink. He was a police officer at the time. It was a red line he crossed with all of us.Stole from me... on my birthday. I put all the money people gifted me on that day in 1 place. He visited me, gifted me a single candy, grabbed all the money that were there and quietly walked away thinking i would not notice.My entire friendship group aside from one person, decided that I was a great target for bullying after I got diagnosed with major depression.Embezzled thousands of dollars out of my bank account. I guess between that and the felony charges I made against him doomed the friendship forever.Lent him $10k over time.
Promised to pay me back. Been 3 years and everytime I asked for money back. He makes excuses like ‘fine I won’t eat’ or ‘guess I can’t pay for my mortgage’ or ‘you’re ruining my mental health asking for your money back’…. Hard lesson learnt.We were good friends from highschool, went to the same university and basically kept in touch for over 20 years. During covid, she - this high IQ, really smart individual went off tangent to seek the "alternative truth". In the alumni whatsapp group, one of our friends were dying of covid. He literally said goodbye to everyone as he will be intubated and not sure if he will wake up again. Soon after she commented, this happened because he was vaccinated. All he needed was sunlight and vitamin c. Hot damn. Everyone just dropped her like hot potato. Miraculously, he survived. .She hopped on the trump train, and kept trying to punk all her friends into these petty political arguments
In person she’ll be nice to your face, but on Facebook she goes 0-60 in calling all of us pro-abortion, baby killers. I don’t know why she does this because she has no friends anymore as a result.I named my son's middle name his last name and then went on vacation to New Orleans with him and the mother of my child, only to walk in on them sleeping together in the hotel..turns out they had been sexting each other for over 6 months and planned the whole thing, thinking I was going to be too drunk to notice. Mind you I considered him more of a brother than my own brothers for over 14 years. Needless to say I got my son's middle name legally changed after that.Made a pass at my wife. Chinned him and haven't spoke to him in almost 3 years.We had been best friends for 5 years. Met travelling and lived together, worked together, adventured together, lockdowned together and I had even supported her through a tough medical issue she went through and comforted her for nearly a full year after her 6 month
relationship ended and she was devastated.
At the end of last year I went through a break up of a 3 year relationship and at the same time medical negligence left me with nerve damage. I was in agony both physically and mentally and genuinely felt nearly suicidal and was unsure if i would ever recover (im still healing). I tried my hardest to reach out to friends and family for support (also got myself a therapist for the suicidal part). She ignored me for months. She was aware of everything i was going through. When we finally spoke she told me she couldn't fix my problems for me and she didn't know what I wanted from her and i told her i just needed a friend to talk to not to fix anything and she just scoffed. When we next spoke 2 months later she told me my stress was getting her down. We haven't spoken since. The disappointment has been as heartbreaking as my break up and I'm still reeling from her callousness. It has devastated me ?.Decided 5 seconds before my wedding ceremony that she no longer wanted to be my maid of honor or even in the wedding after an argument with a couple of my other bridesmaids. She was the only one not ready, and threw a fit about the cupcakes being displayed weird, so a couple of the other girls were like “okay go fix it then” and she slammed the door and threw a whole temper tantrum in front of my husband and his groomsmen where they were hanging out before the ceremony began. It was wild and we haven’t spoken since. We went to high school together and texted and hung out regularly too, so it was pretty sad throwing away a friendship over something that silly.At his birthday party after blowing out his candles with his family and friends around, he wished I didn't come.Invited our friends over to pack my things while I was in hospital and then tried to steal my child because they were convinced my baby was theirs.They showed contempt towards a beloved hobby of mine, even though they knew how much it means to me. That was a very clear indicator we were drifting apart.Ex-best friend was trying to help me through a rough and sudden break-up with my girlfriend of 3 years. A few weeks later he sends me a picture of her laying on his chest with the explanation of “everyone thought we were getting together so we just decided to “. Started to put a lot of things in perspective for me.We were close. Did everything together, even when I got pregnant. Then I had my son, she never came and met him. Thought oh maybe she's busy.
6 weeks later ran into her at the mall, I had my son with me. She talked to me for about 5 minutes and didn't even acknowledge my son. I knew then and there we were done. Haven't spoken since.Publicly announcing my medical diagnosis in front of my friends and telling them that I brought it to myself for being careless (A lie ). Enemies now and it is better this way.This is a petty one, but - I have (had?) a friend who is chronically late. Like, 45 minutes late every time we hang out. She knows how much it bothers me, and yet she still does it. We don't hang out anymore.She would regularly lie and manipulate me. Told me that the guy I was in love with, liked me back, which was not the case. She ended up dating him. Needless to say I cut the contact as soon as I could.
They dated for about four years. When I learned they broke up, I almost bought a bottle of champagne.One time, my friends and I were taking a sports test in high school, and I experienced low blood sugar. I fainted and was very hurt. Then I was taken to a doctor, and after I left the doctor’s room, I did not find any of my friends waiting for me. I returned home alone in a miserable state. Then I realized that no one cared about your affairs except your family.She asked my boyfriend (that she thought I just broke up with days ago, but it was a fight) to meet her for a drink.
What's worse, I called her that day. My car broke down I needed her help. She said she would contact me when she was back in town. Not only did she not call or text, she messaged my boyfriend to hang out with her.
I told her off the second I found out, and it still hurts me to this day. Because she called it "a misunderstanding" and I was very close with her entire family.
I knew about her, and how shady she was. But I wanted to believe she wouldn't betray me since we are were so close.
