Attraction is the most unpredictable thing. Sometimes all it takes is the most subtle or unexpected gesture to peak a person's interest and now they can stop thinking about it, walking around with their heart thudding and cheeks flushed for the rest of the day.
People in this thread were sharing the exact moments when the most weirdly specific actions of others made them feel attraction. From cleaning to skillfully reversing into a parking spot, scroll down to find the most peculiar things that made one’s heart flutter.
While you’re at it, don’t forget to check out a conversation with social psychologist, dating expert, founder, and director of The Match Lab, Daniel Rosenfeld, who kindly agreed to tell us more about attraction.
#1
I love seeing men being kind and soppy with cats (or dogs but especially cats). It's just so lovely especially if I hadn't thought they were cat people.
We had a builder who did a lot of work on our house. He worked like a machine, barely stopping and was quite brusque. Polite enough but very straight to the point. One day I was looking out of the window and he was carrying materials down the driveway when one of our neighbours cats marched down the drive and rolled over in front of him. He put all the stuff down and bent down and stroked and fussed the cat for as long as she wanted. It didn't make me fancy him but I immediately adjusted my perception of him from competent builder to competent builder + nice human being!
Image credits: honeylulu
#2
When I was telling my personal trainer how low I had felt about my body after having a baby and how weak my core felt, he said in a calm, quiet and measured voice, "Your body has done one of the strongest and greatest feats you could ever do, bringing a child into the world. Don't be so hard on yourself". And from that day on, I have loved him from afar.
Image credits: Rhdlj
#3
If only men knew how attractive it is if they are capable - particularly if they do something without being asked to do it.
Image credits: MounjaroUser
Social psychologist, dating expert, founder, and director of The Match Lab, Daniel Rosenfeld, tells Bored Panda that attraction can be both unpredictable and predictable.
“Many things about attraction are highly predictable, like the fact that people find confidence, a sense of humor, and certain physical features appealing,” he says. “But attraction also has a wild side. People like all kinds of different things. Plus, people can’t fully control who or what they're drawn to, so moments of chemistry or allure often strike without warning.”
Even though we might consciously look for particular qualities in a partner, our feelings towards them are still highly influenced by random and subconscious factors, Rosenfeld says. “So attraction often emerges from a combination of subtle cues, hard-to-explain chemistry, and just the right timing that defies complete control or rational explanation.”
#4
Someone being kind to animals. Like he could look like the back end of a bus but if he goes to move a snail out of the road or something, he's suddenly attractive to me. On the flip side of that he could be conventionally gorgeous, but if he says anything along the lines of 'It's just an animal', instant ick.
Image credits: SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter
#5
Friend and I were sharing a pub table with a couple of men and towards the end of the evening we got chatting. No one appeared to be remotely attracted to anyone., it wasn't a flirty conversation.As we went to leave I put my coat on , but left the top button undone. One of these guys stood up and very gently did my top button up, smiled and said "it's cold out there". Blimey. I still feel a warm glow about him years later
Image credits: Kingsleadhat
#6
Micheal McIntyre did a routine about his wife telling him how sexy she found it when he reversed the car. I’m totally with her on that one, when a man just casually reverses into a really tight space, one hand on the wheel, the other on the back of the seat while he looks behind him. Bonus points for rolled up sleeves and nice forearms.
Image credits: Aposterhasnoname
We were curious to know why seemingly simple or strangely specific actions like cleaning or perfectly reversing into a parking spot can spark sudden attraction. “These moments catch people off guard by making them aware of qualities they didn’t realize were attractive,” he explains.
“It's that subconscious part of attraction and the role of random timing. These actions are also a glimpse of someone's everyday real life, so they're very authentic, and authenticity is attractive.
Also, watching someone do simple basic actions can make them come across as competent, conscientious, focused, or confident, all of which are traits that are appealing. Weird actions can show that someone is a little quirky, which can make them stand out in a way that’s intriguing and memorable. People like authenticity with a splash of individuality.”
#7
A few weeks after I met DH I’d been to stay at his house for a couple of days. Took my dog and I’d put her and my bags in the car, said I’ll just dash back in make sure I’ve not left anything. As I got back to the car he had his arms through the car window, cuddling my dog and telling her to “ look after your mum”. Knew he was a keeper right there.
Image credits: Allthehorsesintheworld
#8
A couple of months after I started seeing DH, we went on holiday to a Greek island for a week. The first night, we were lying on the sand after dark, looking up at the stars. He started pointing out the constellations. I was so impressed that he knew all their names - and I knew right then I was going to marry him.
Image credits: DramaAlpaca
#9
Living in America, in a slightly dodgy town but with nice parts - went to the naice supermarket which had people to bag your groceries. The young man who bagged my stuff up insisted on carrying to my car, put them on the back seat but then held my door open for me and I noticed he pressed the lock as he did it so that I was locked in. I thought it was cutely protective - found out later someone who looked liek me had been knifed earlier in the day on the other side of the car park. I was even more grateful for his protectiveness.
When attraction is sudden, Rosenfeld says that it can go either way—it can be fleeting or the first push toward deeper and longer-lasting connection.
“Often, these initial “sparks” provide the entry point that leads people to discover more about each other, which can grow into a more meaningful attraction over time. While some triggers may be just momentary, those that signal more enduring real qualities about a person—like their sense of humor, compassion, or unique charm—tend to stick around and deepen as two people get to know each other better.”
#10
I was once walking with my DH all dressed up in fabulous heels on our way out somewhere and I stumbled a little. He immediately tightened his grip on my hand almost instinctively.
I’ve never forgotten the feeling of safety
#11
My DH turned up on my doorstep for our second date with a big drill to fix all the things I said needed fixing at home. I married him soon after
#12
At a party a man I had known a while but never thought particularly attractive started singing whilst my daughter accompanied on piano - it was "La Bamba" and he is a fluent Spanish speaker.... I saw him in a whole new light
Image credits: HideousKinky
“Usually the unusual behaviors that trigger attraction are endearingly quirky,” concludes Rosenfeld.
“They show playfulness, individuality, and self-acceptance. For instance, someone might be overly enthusiastic about their niche hobby, like collecting rare plants or mastering Yo-Yo tricks. That can be surprisingly charming. If a quirk makes someone stand out, revealing authenticity, passion, and depth, that'll likely be attractive.”
#13
At university my (much older, older than my Dad, even) Art tutor used to roll up his sleeves at the start of every lecture. Would come in, sit down, and roll up his sleeves and I would swoooooooon. So much so that I started to worry he could hear my thoughts.
P.S. I'm a lesbian!!
#14
Treating all people with equal respect and kindness, and never overlooking someone or treating them as "lesser" because they are shy, disabled, overweight, a different race/culture, unattractive, homeless, elderly, not "neuro-typical", etc..
I can appear to be a quite stand-offish person and it can be difficult to get to know me. I'm not very good at accepting help or being the social butterfly, my humour can be a bit "off" sometimes, so I tend to get overlooked a lot or assumed to be odd or difficult. It's very attractive to me if I get "seen" and someone actually gets me, but it happens very rarely - which is good because I don't tend to have much energy for being social, but I do love to flirt and I'm surprisingly good at it, so when it does happen it's dynamite! It really doesn't matter to me what someone looks like or their social standing, either, I can recognise good looks but it's utterly meaningless to me if there's no connection.
#15
My DH is super competent, sees what needs doing and does it. But I've never fancied him more than when we went to my sisters house and she opened the door and I went in and he followed. He went to shut the door, stopped said "this door needs fixing, do you have a screwdriver?" and then proceeded to fix it before he'd even got in the house.
#16
A man who can dance and actively wants to dance with you… pulling you close, swings you round with his hand controls the movements . Enjoys the actual dance and movement.. with sleeves rolled up and eyes on you….get me a room
#17
Moving furniture.
Years and years ago a guy I knew helped me collect furniture and take it to my new house.
He drove the van, he manhandled all the heavy stuff ON HIS OWN. I'm talking heavy brown furniture - wardrobe, chest of drawers, my SOFA! He hoiked the whole lot single handed, then drove back. It was a lot. He was also only about 5'7" or so. The wardrobe was about 7' tall! But he packed quite a punch.
I developed a raging crush on him after that, my friends all thought I'd had a blow to the head and seriously questioned my choice but that contained power was irresistible. After some relentless pursuit by me he did give in to my charms!
It fizzled out pretty quick but I was like a thing possessed at its height!
Image credits: TragicMuse
#18
At the start of the pandemic, before we were all sent home (and clearly before we were paranoid about catching covid!) a colleague was testing out video conferencing between my computer and his.. never really looked at him twice beyond finding him a generally pleasant person to work with.. he spent ages working around me, leaning over me to change settings and adjust things on my computer, I developed a sudden massive crush that took years to get over
Image credits: Frivolitiesandfripperies
#19
That sideways bunny hopping over fences they do.
I don't know what it's called but it always makes me feel a bit odd
Image credits: Laiste
#20
When I saw my friend's DH clean a highchair meticulously with his sleeves rolled up I suddenly had a huge crush on him. Never found him attractive in my life before that! It dissipated after a few mins and I did joke to my friend about it, funnily enough she said it's not the first time someone had commented on his sexy cleaning skills
Image credits: Yuckyyuckyuckity
#21
Seeing any man do something that he is good at, without a second thought, does it for me. Especially if it's something I can't do or can only do in a rubbish fashion
Image credits: Vroomfondleswaistcoat
#22
A guy I worked with told me he lay on his sons floor and held his hand every night to help him sleep. I felt weirdly attracted to him then.
#23
A long time ago I knew someone who fancied me more than I fancied him. I kept turning him down, although we were friends.
One day we were at a museum, watching a pair of blokes dressed up as Roman gladiators and educating a random bunch of visitors. They wanted an adult male to put on a chain mail tunic, carry a sword and pretend to be a new gladiator. Friend volunteered (despite shyness and frankly having no potential gladiatorial skills). It was adorable and sexy
#24
Ok, this is a weird one. The smell of fresh, clean sweat. Guy I work with goes to the gym a lot and then changes into a suit at the office. When he leans over me at my desk, I get a whiff of his sweat and it smells glorious. It just makes me think of strong, capable men hard at work!
Image credits: Noleene
#25
Someone at work was demonstrating a new function on our computer system. It wouldn't work properly so he just opened up the code, wrote new code and fixed the problem. Swoon!
Image credits: ILoveAnOwl
#26
A man being able to share how he feels and feeling comfortable to share that with me - without actually knowing him all that well.
Image credits: PatsyPatsysaid
#27
I really fancy my non practical at all dh when he mows the lawn. Extra points for cap on backwards.
Image credits: piscofrisco
#28
Big one for me is if they can play guitar, find me any man, attractive or not, and if they can pick up an electric guitar and effortlessly play then I’ll swoon. Bonus points if they’re a bit Indie.
I also like a man who can dance, don’t necessarily have to be really good at it but confidence and a bit of rhythm on the dance floor is hot.
#29
Picking up my DS from a party in one of those big community halls. One of the dads was in the kitchen with a pair of marigolds elbow deep in washing up water. I've never fancied a man more than in that moment ? if it wasn't for that incident, I wouldn't have given him a second glance.
Image credits: RecoveringChocaholic
#30
For me has to be on a ski holiday - this guy there I had honestly barely registered saw me struggling to walk back to the lodge with my skis one day and wordlessly took them from me, threw them effortlessly over his shoulder and strode off! Swoon!
#31
My DP is a very strong, capable working man. He's attractive and friendly and is confident. He likes himself. I think I really fell in love with him stood in Dominoes in our home town when he rested his head on mine as he felt unwell. It was the mix of the strength and vulnerability that was irresistible.
#32
A male colleague who used to whisper when he first came in of a morning and it was dark and quiet and just a few of us in work. Strangely hot.
#33
I got to work this morning and I have a bit of equipment that I use that I always struggle setting up.
I turned up a bit early and put it on the table ready to set up. A guy I work with who honestly I have never really even liked as a person and am DEFINITELY not remotely physically attracted to, picked it up off the table while we were all chatting before our shift, and wordlessly constructed it for me.
For a minute I thought he thought it was his and was very confused, but he handed it to me once done.
I cannot stress how much I am not attracted to this man but it was weirdly hot.
Image credits: Carryonrunning
#34
For me, it's police officers. Give me a police officer in all their kit, directing traffic, chatting to old ladies, cutting through traffic with their blue lights on. Even more so, when they arrest a baddie or pull out their taser - golly gosh!
#35
This is very niche, but it was an in-depth, working knowledge of the Dune books. Before the new films came out. With another man it was a discussion of the relative merits of Starfuries vs X-wings vs Colonial Vipers. I do like a good geek.
#36
Driving. Just driving. That's all.
Image credits: WhimsicalMoth
#37
First time DP stayed the night he checked all my doors were locked (not a euphemism!). Biggest turn on ever!
#38
When my husband is at work in his lab coat with his blue rubber gloves on and sleeves pushed up and he’s masterfully pu petting stuff into tiny trays with a really long pipettes and his hands don’t shake at all… he just looks so confident and sexy.
#39
First time I felt wildly attracted to my now DH was when he explained to me how to bootstrap an interest curve.
Does it get any stranger than that?
Image credits: GreatSquareNova
#40
A young man continued eating his gyros while I was attempting to flirt with him / ask him out, and I found it cute.
I think it was the fact he wasn't impressed by me and I had to actually work hard for his attention that made me want him more. He felt like a 'challenge'.
Image credits: Crushed23
