Before Jade Warshaw became a Ramsey Solutions personality, she and her husband were $460,000 in debt. Since paying off that debt, she’s made her living teaching others to shift their financial mindsets and beliefs.
She recently made a TikTok about financial envy and how to escape it. Here are the four signs she recommended watching for, along with recommendations for shifting your thinking.
Sign No. 1: You Can’t Be Happy for Others’ Success
When you’re stuck in financial envy, it’s hard to celebrate someone else’s wins without some resentment. Your friend gets a raise at work or posts on Instagram about their lucrative new job. As much as you want to cheer them on, all you can feel is jealousy. Your desire for what they have undermines any chance of happiness.
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Sign No. 2: You’re Always Comparing Your Financial Situation to Others
Once you start fixating on your perceived financial inadequacy, it’s hard to stop. Everything reminds you of the money you wish you had, from your coworker’s vacation photos to the car your friend drives to brunch.
Psychological research shows that this kind of social comparison can damage your mental health and make you feel worse about yourself. The worse you feel, the more you tend to compare yourself to others.
Sign No. 3: You Assume Others Have It Easier
Social media shows us the highlights of other people’s lives. You may see photos of luxury trips and newly remodeled homes, but you don’t see the hard work that went on behind the scenes. You naturally conclude that financial ease is their baseline.
Hartford Funds calls this “money dysmorphia,” which causes people from all walks of life to underestimate their financial well-being. Social media users see evidence of their peers’ successes and assume their own lives are better, more successful and easier financially.
These assumptions fuel the comparison loop and minimize the work required to succeed. And when you don’t recognize the work, you stay stuck in a powerless place.
Sign No. 4: You Frequently Use the Phrase ‘Must Be Nice’
The “must be nice” trap is another way you might be minimizing your financial power. It’s a common envy-based response that separates you from the people you perceive as successful. Instead of learning from or admiring their successes, you convince yourself that you can never get where they are. It’s fatalistic, not aspirational.
Tips for Changing Your Mindset
Psychiatrist Dr. Neel Burton calls envy “the personal pain caused by the desire for the advantages of others.” If you interrupt the connection between want and pain, you can use the desire as fuel. Here’s what Warshaw recommended:
- Stay in your lane: You’ll always feel behind if you compare your first draft to someone else’s highlight reel. It doesn’t matter if the person is your age or younger, because everyone is on a different journey.
- Replace criticism with curiosity: Instead of “Must be nice,” think “How did they do it?” Look for their path to financial success, focusing on their actions instead of their luck. Consider what your version of those actions might be. If your science-minded friend went to medical school, you could think about law school.
- Practice gratitude: As Warsaw pointed out, “You can’t grow what you resent.” Every time you feel money envy, shift your mindset by thinking of one thing you’ve done well financially — even if it’s tiny.
Other money experts have also shared strategies for combating financial envy. Hartford Funds recommends reducing exposure to social media, which can strengthen social comparison. The Skimm, an online resource for women, suggests digging into the details of what you want and using that as your pathway to success.
It all comes back to focusing on yourself and your success — not what others have or don’t.
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: 4 Key Signs You’re Struggling With Financial Envy and What To Do About It, According to a Ramsey Money Expert
