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Liverpool Echo
Liverpool Echo
National
Lee Grimsditch

37 warnings and threats Liverpool mums would say that struck fear into kids

For many people, there are threats and warnings we remember our mums saying that could turn your insides to ice.

Scouse mums are known for their generosity and warmth, but cross them at your peril. And maybe it's a particular gift our mums have that means we can still remember the well chosen (and often utterly bizarre) things they said that could stop us in our tracks.

This week, we asked members of the Liverpool ECHO's memories and history Facebook group to share their own memories of their mums. We asked: "What are some of the warnings and threats that only Liverpool mums would say to you growing up?"

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The post attracted over 200 comments and some fantastic memories of stern words from mums that kept their kids in line. Whether it was for giving a bit of cheek, a funny look, or playing out with due care, our mums had an answer for everything.

So whether it was a threat to call on the services of a bogeyman or a thick ear, here are 37 gems listed below. Of course, this won't be a comprehensive list, so if you know of any others that didn't make the list tell us in the comments below.

37. You’ll go to Ann Fowler's

It seems this was a popular threat for many with Ann Fowler's being a home on Netherfield Road for 'fallen' women.

36. I'll buy you two in case one makes you sick

For those kids always after something. One woman commenting on the saying posted: "Our mum used to say (when we'd ask for something totally unaffordable) 'oh yes, I'll buy you two in case one makes you sick.' Looking back, what a strange saying."

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35. Go to Bootle!

Sorry Bootle, but it seems there were several variations on this Bootle shout. One woman said: "My mum used to say go to Bootle, at that time I wasn't sure where it was and thought it must be a terrible place; I was only about six."

There was also: "Bootle - where the bugs wear clogs." But if it's any consolation, Bootle wasn't the only place annoyed mums would warn their kids with.

Another popular threat was: "I’ll send yer to Fazakerly Cottage Homes!"

34. It will be a pig's foot in the morning

If you had an accident, even if you banged your ear, there was a good chance your mum would trot (pun intended) this one out.

33. Wait till your father gets home

Once you heard this it was time to behave.

32. You'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute

Again, you'd definitely pushed it too far once your mum came out with this.

Join our Liverpool memories and history Facebook group here.

31. If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!

This paradoxical warning was a means to letting you know, if you're playing about and not taking care then you've only yourself to blame.

30. Act soft and I’ll buy you a coal yard

Another popular warning. But what it means is a bit of a puzzle. Any ideas?

29. If the wind changes, you'll stick like that

A warning, if you keep pulling that silly face then it'll become permanent.

28. I'll give you something to cry about

This one was brought out when your mum was getting fed up of you whinging. Which was a very similar warning to...

27. I will give you such a crack in a minute

See above.

26. Shut the door, were you born in a barn?

Please close the door on your way out, you're letting in a draft. But without the please.

25. I'll call Icky the Fire Bobby / If you're not careful, Ickyboo will get you!

Quite a few suggestions for Icky the Fire Bobby and Ickyboo, which must be related surely? Whatever the truth is, it's definitely a warning to kids along the lines of if they didn't stop acting up, the bogeyman would get them.

One person remembered hearing: "Icky the bare-bum Fire Bobby. [He] will get you if you swallow your chewy. And he lives down the grids!"

The latest series of Memory Lane is in major retailers including Asda, Tesco, Home Bargains and selected newsagents now. This series of the bumper picture special looks at fun in the sun - with stunning photographs and treasured memories of family holidays from years gone by. You can also buy Memory Lane online here.

24. Do you want to see the back of my hand?

The scholar's answer to this was always 'no'.

23. You’ll go in a home with your ears tied back

Another popular threat overheard by Liverpool kids. Where it originates from I don't know, but no doubt it would be painful.

One commenter said: "My mum said the same thing. Sometimes she added, when I was naughty, that she would send me to Colomendy where they would tie my ears back!!" Bootle and Fazakerley, you're in good company.

22. If you don't eat your dinner it will go down the back of your neck

Self explanatory, really. Eat up! Also similar to...

21. Eat it now or you'll get it for breakfast in the morning

There was no getting away from eating what was put in front of you for your tea.

20. If you can't fight wear a big hat

A warning that verges on an attempt at some sage advice. Something like - 'if you're in trouble and can't fight, look like the kind of person who would wear a big hat?' An actual top hat might also serve as a distraction or target.

19. I'll marmalise you

'Marmalise' - to defeat or beat heavily. To 'pulverise'.

18. If you're not down these stairs by the time I get to ten, you'll know about it

Time to get a move on.

Do these awaken any memories for you? Let us know in the comments section below.

17. Turn the lights off, it’s like Blackpool illuminations in 'ere

Wonder how much this one is still trotted out, what with energy prices as they are right now?

16. Do it again and I’ll cut it off

No idea. But to be on the safe side, probably best not let her catch you doing it again.

15. I'm going to send you to a kids' home if you don't behave

When you were on your last warning.

14. Don't look at me in that tone of voice

An expression used by mum's to warn their kids if spotted standing, acting or looking at them in a intense or generally in a negative way.

13. You’ll ruin your feet wearing shoes like that!

A warning but also an attempt at some good advice, usually said to older teenagers who might venture out wearing stiletto heels or winkle pickers.

12. Carry on laughing and you'll be crying next

Classic mum zinger back-in-the-day.

11. 'Arl Nick' (or 'Old Nick' - The Devil) is in that cupboard

Don't go in there, or, another threat based on the bogeyman theme.

10. No Scouse or trifle for you

You'll be sent to bed without any tea.

9. Eat your carrots, they help you see in the dark

If you don't eat your carrots you'll bump into things at night.

8. Eat the crust or your hair won't stay curly

The Kevin Keegan perm won't just grow itself.

Kevin Keegan's impressive perm (Mirrorpix)

7. I’ll give you such a crack in a minute!

You were really testing your mum's last nerve at this point.

6. Make sure you wear clean undies in case you get run over

Just good advice and a reminder to change your underwear regularly.

5. I'll burst you!

An extremely popular Liverpool mum threat. Also very similar to...

4. I’ll brain you!

See above.

3. You mark my words young lady

You would do well to listen up and write this piece of wisdom down for future use.

2. What does it look like? Sky blue pink with a finny haddy (pronounced 'addy) border!

Would be an annoyed Liverpool mum's answer to any question.

1. Wash your mouth out with soap

No bad language allowed in this house.

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