Euro 2024 is fast-approaching, with supporters of each nation beginning to get themselves ready for what will be another huge spectacle this summer.
But it's not just the action on the pitch at Euro 2024 that FourFourTwo is looking forward to - it's the whole thing, the entire shebang.
From Britain's best educator since the keyboardist in D:Ream, tipsy kilt-wearers and WAGS on the rampage - there's so much to get excited about this summer.
24 reasons to look forward to Euro 2024
1. The first 'normal' tournament since 2018
The 2020s have been a very weird decade. Euro 2020 took place a year late amid the twitchy, anti-social fug of COVID, while Qatar 2022 was dogged by human rights shame and the fact you can't have a barbecue in December without getting either drenched or pneumonia.
Praise be for a simple, guilt-free tournament held in sunburn season.
2. Albart the bear
The 2006 World Cup was blighted by Goleo and Pille, a blundering boss-eyed German lion and talking football respectively. The pair set a low bar for this occasion's mascot, which has barely scraped it with the oafish ursine that is Albärt, who will at least make a less horrifying toy for the kids.
3. Party like it's 2006
The Germans are wunderbar at many things, from crank-shaft engineering to mixing malted grains and water, but hosting football tournaments might be their finest talent.
Anyone who attended the 2006 World Cup will recall a dizzyingly delightful affair, from the seamless travel to the friendly fan parks chock-full of frothing steins and gleaming bratwurst. Expect similar joy.
4. Das fussballliebe
The boffins at Adidas have made some cracking footballs in recent years, but they've surpassed themselves with the lovely 'Fussballliebe', which is vaguely reminiscent of a Joan Miro painting and (as usual) boasts "unparalleled accuracy and control".
5. Scout the stars
The Euros are a great opportunity to get out your grubby notebook and run the rule over the next generation. Can France's silky Warren Zaire-Emery, Turkey's thrilling Kenan Yildiz or Spain's barely-out-of-nappies wonderkid Lamine Yamal make the next steps towards greatness?
6. The Tartan Army
It never feels quite right without them: the drunkest, but least hostile army on Earth are expected to mobilise a Scottish ground force of 100,000. Just don't run out of beer, lads.
7. Hotels, hotels, hotels!
A cursory internet search suggests there are 990,000 hotel rooms in Germany, compared with just 38,000 in Qatar, all of which were booked by Wales fans six seconds after they qualified. Better yet this summer, they'll be built from actual bricks instead of cardboard.
8. Turkey 'home games'
Turkish fans are famously feverish, so expect Germany's massive immigrant population to create an atmosphere straight outta Gala when the Crescent-Stars take to the field.
9. Georgia's debut
None of the Caucasus triumvirate of Armenia, Azerbaijan and Georgia had ever qualified for a major tournament until the latter won the play-offs, leaving commentators all over Europe in despair. Kvaratskhelia, Zivzivadze Kochorashvili... it's pronunciation hell.
10. Return of the wags
Back in 2006, England's golden generation of wives and girlfriends, spearheaded by Cheryl Cole, Coleen Rooney and Victoria Beckham, went apes**t drinking peach bellinis round Baden-Baden, creating a paparazzi supernova.
This time, England drop anchor at a five-star hotel with two-and-a-half golf courses in the Weimar village of Blankenhain. Can a brand new wave of heroes bent on mayhem emerge?!
11. Fond(ish) farewells
This will surely be a swansong for Cristiano Ronaldo (his sixth Euros), Luka Modric and Europe's narkiest defender, Pepe. It won't be the same without his uniquely unpleasant behaviour.
12. Serbia make it!
Despite qualifying for three World Cups, Serbia oddly hadn't reached the Euros since the 2006 split from Montenegro - their last involvement was as FR Yugoslavia, reaching the quarter-finals at Euro 2000.
This time, they're finally here.
13. Bellingham back in Germany
Jude was bom in Stourbridge but made in Borussia Dortmund. He's a stark contrast to the old days when Little Englanders used to fear the funny food abroad - will he thrive in the country where he became a star?
14. Pickford's mega jumbotron challenge
The highlight of England's clammy 1-0 win against Paraguay in 2006 was Paul Robinson putting his giant northern boot through an upfield punt so mightily that he struck the Waldstadion's whopping telly, hanging from the roof above the centre circle.
Can fellow berserker Jordan Pickford repeat the feat, in the same ground, against Denmark?!
15. History time with Coisty
Ally McCoist is now, unexpectedly, one of British TV's top educators on a par with Brian Cox, Mary Beard and Duggee. Expect him to have done his research and drop in all kinds of info nuggets about Middle Ages Romania.
16. Forza Italia
A tournament without the Azzurri just isn't right: they've got the best anthem, the best hairdos and are the best at making quasi-religious hand gestures to officials after not getting a throw-in.
Post-World Cup hiatus, having the champs back here was a must.
17. New rules
There are some minor changes from 2020 to contend with: a microchip in 'Fussballliebe' - the official match ball - will either help to clear up handball disputes, or alternatively cause Matt Le Tissier and his merry band of COVID conspiracy theorists to claim Bill Gates is masterminding the event. Swings and roundabouts.
18. Iconic stadiums
From the home of the iconic Yellow Wall in Dortmund to Harry Kane's new stomping ground in Munich; from Berlin's history-soaked Olympiastadion to the beautiful Arena AufSchalke, this is as impressive a line-up of stadiums as we've seen anywhere.
19. Ukraine making their point
When Serhiy Rebrov's men qualified via the play-offs, the first thing shown on TV was a fan holding up a flag saying 'F**k Putin'. Expect plenty more where that came from.
20. Paul's pretenders
Paul the Octopus was a breakout star of the 2010 World Cup - a soft-bodied cephalopod who correctly predicted all seven of Germany's results. The mystic mollusc died months later-before he could do anything property useful - and has spawned legions of imitators, hundreds of which will rear their suckers, beaks and so forth this summer.
21. Golden gaffers
The managerial line-up for Euro 2024 looks fascinating. Ex-Arsenal defender Sylvinho is a legend in Albania, while there's a gaggle of Julian Nagelsmann-like thirtysomethings and also wily old dogs like Ronald Koeman and Luciano Spalletti. Something for all!
22. Record crowds
Euro 2016 in France smashed tournament attendance records - 2,427,303 people got in on the action - but that can be surpassed in Germany. And no social distancing, yay!
23. Normal telly
Satellite money men still haven't got their grubby trotters on the Euros: the BBC have nabbed two England and two Scotland group games; ITV have one of each and first pick of the last 16 and semi-final matches.
Expect Coronation Street to be delayed. A lot.
24. England's best shot in decades
The Three Lions have never won the Euros. History buffs may also recall that they haven't won a major trophy since 1966. It feels like Gareth Southgate is ready to terminate 58 years of English dross, right?
Ah, there we go, we've cursed it again. See you in 2026!
