Not every kid's family life is like in The Brady Bunch. Some children grow up with pretty messed up people for parents. Research shows that 63.9% of U.S. adults report having at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE) – a potentially traumatic event.
But social media has made it easier for adolescents and adult children to share their childhood traumas and take comfort in the fact that they have many brothers and sisters of similar fates. This time, we have a compilation just for them – the moments when toxic parents acted particularly infuriatingly.
So, those who grew up in a healthy family might want to go kiss their mom and dad for some extra appreciation after going through this list!
#1 I'm 25, I Have Schizophrenia, And Have Zero Support From My Mom
Image credits: skyhawk214
#2 My Mom Just Asked Me For $600 When I Work A Minimum-Wage Job, Then Tells Me To Stop Spending
Image credits: CHIEFXx
#3 My Mother Asked Me If I Would Cut My Hair To Save Her Life
She's been guilt-tripping me about cutting my hair forever, and she’s not giving up soon.
Image credits: Kindredgos
People may throw around the word 'toxic' nowadays when talking about almost anything. But when the topic is unsupportive and difficult parents, it's mostly fitting. As Psychologist Chivonna Childs, Ph.D., explains, toxic parents are those who put their own needs in front of the needs of their child. "They're more self-centered than other-centered," she says.
The most obvious signs are, of course, physical and verbal abuse. Emotional abuse might be harder to spot. Things like stonewalling, silent treatment, manipulation, blaming, etc. Not respecting your boundaries is also a common trait in toxic parents.
#4 My Mom Made Me Throw Away This Good-Looking Cake Because It Was Given To Us By A Muslim Neighbor
Image credits: SciencesnObjects40
#5 My Room Was Clean When I Left For My Dad's House For Spring Break. This Is What I Came Home To After My Mom "Looked For My Wallet"
Image credits: Oonoroi
#6 I’m A "Turkey" Because I Don’t Want To Download An App So My Mom Could Track Me
Image credits: B1narypwny
That sounds pretty narcissistic, doesn't it? Not all toxic parents are narcissists per se. But narcissistic parents share some toxic traits. Clinical Psychologist Ramani Durvasula distinguishes the most prominent six:
- They support you in public but criticize you in private;
- They create a space of mistrust;
- They treat you differently from your siblings;
- They treat their kids as extensions of themselves;
- They want their child to mirror their emotions;
- And they shame you for having or expressing your needs.
#7 My Parents Went Through My Phone, Deleted Over 1500 Different Images And Videos, And Emptied The Trash Bin. I'm 15, And They Haven't Found Anything Bad On My Phone Ever
Image credits: SeparateAdvantage836
#8 My Mother Destroyed My Screen Because My Dogs Woke Her Up
Image credits: Radioaktivman999
#9 I'm Allergic To Almonds. This Is All My Parents Will Buy. They Eat All The Cereal I Buy And Leave Me With This, Saying I Can "Pick Out The Almonds"
Image credits: CapnRedbeard647
In fact, narcissistic parents are only one type of toxic parent. The other most common three are helicopter, dismissive, and passive/permissive parents. Helicopter parents don't let their children experience the world on their own. By trying to shield them from even the most minor dangers, they rob them of developing their own identity.
#10 Growing Up, My Parents Refused To Get Me Dolls Or Accessories. Now I’m In My 20s, And They Have Decided To Buy Doll Stuff Each Year And Laugh In My Face. This Was This Year's "Gift"
Image credits: xlostinimaginationx
#11 After My Parent's Divorce, My Mother Ripped My Father Out Of My Childhood Photos. He Passed Away Over Two Years Ago, And We Don’t Have Many Photos Together
Image credits: Designer_Dentist644
#12 Last Year I Checked My Bank Account And Saw That My Mom Stole My Money, Almost $2,000
Image credits: OatmealRaisin-Cookie
Dismissive parents often reject and show disdain toward their children. Clinical Social Worker Kimberly Perlin explains that dismissive mothers, in particular, are not empathetic to their child's needs. "They often send the message to their child that they are too needy or clingy when the child is expressing developmentally appropriate needs."
#13 My Mom Kindly Promised She Would Maintain My Car While I Was Away Temporarily. Well, She Didn't. Now It Has A Dead Battery And A Moldy Interior
Image credits: graycegal
#14 My Friend (Who Is Adopted) Posted One Thing On Instagram. It Also Appears That Her Mom Is Stalking Her
Image credits: Magic_Orcat
#15 Showing Up Late To A Planned Dinner
My parents are notorious for showing up late. If a party is at 3, you can expect them at 4:30. We had dinner plans at 5 p.m. today, and it’s 7:39 p.m. and they are still not here. I want to pack everything up and tell them not to come over.
Image credits: Richersonrealty
Permissive or passive parents fail to set boundaries for their children. They avoid confrontation at all costs, so the children may have difficulty with authority later in life. Jeff Nalin, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, says that permissive parents "fail to teach their children to respect themselves and others, which can negatively impact the way they interact with teachers, peers, and authoritative figures."
#16 My Mom Is Withholding My Unemployment And Took The Cares Act Grant Gave Out To The Students
Image credits: Chronicsadd
#17 My Mom Took A Bite Of My Birthday Cake That I Bought For Myself
Yesterday was my birthday, and to celebrate it, I bought two slices of cake after work to enjoy, but because it was late, I put it in the fridge to eat later. I was a little stressed recently, so when I got off work today, I felt happy because I was about to enjoy some cake that I hadn't had in a while. However, when I opened the fridge, I saw that my mom took a bite out of them. Yes, she knew it was my birthday yesterday. No, I don't think she cared.
I might be a little overreacting, but I'm feeling more than a little upset over it. I know it's not a big deal, but it's just the principle of the thing, you know? My mood was immediately shattered.
Just to add the day of my birthday, she asked me to take her out for dinner. I think she's mixing up whose birthday it was.
Image credits: RegularTemporary2707
#18 My Mom Threw My Monitor, But It Didn’t Work, So She Resorted To The Knife
Image credits: Walnutclout
What happens to children of toxic or narcissistic parents, and how do they differ from those who grow up in healthy families? Most often, they're plagued by self-doubt. They constantly battle the anxiety that they're not good enough. Not good enough at their job, at being a parent, a friend, or even at being a good son or daughter.
#19 I’m 17, And I Still Have Screen Time While My 14-Year-Old Sister Doesn’t
This is stupid. I’m not on my phone all day, while my sister is on it almost 24/7. Every evening, she is on a call with her friend for like 5 hours, and my parents don’t say anything about it. But if I’m on my bed for 5 minutes on my phone, I get yelled at. This is so stupid and annoying.
Image credits: Jojin120
#20 I Cooked A Thanksgiving Meal From Scratch For My Family And No One Ate It
My mom and sibling decided at the last minute to eat at someone else's house. My dad brought his own food to eat for himself. At least my cat appreciates the turkey.
Image credits: luzzzonix
#21 My Mom Was 15 When She Had Me And Was Also Diagnosed With Manic Depressive Disorder/Bipolar
I’m currently in college and living with her again because rent is really expensive. I’ve been secretly going to therapy because of anxiety attacks from living with my mom. I’m now being treated for PTSD.
Image credits: spadiddle
But many children and adolescents have to live with their toxic parents. That's why one of the symptoms of having a toxic parent is feeling trapped. "It's not like a child can just get up and leave, to go live on their own. You're left at the mercy of the people who love and take care of us," Dr. Childs explained.
#22 My Mom's Response When I Came Out To Her. Haven’t Talked To Them For Two Weeks Now
Image credits: Cherrychemicals
#23 My Mother’s Response To Going No Contact
For context, my father is in prison for molesting me. Mom still denies that I was abused and insists that I had a great childhood. She wanted to have a better relationship with me, so she volunteered to watch my daughter once a week. Then she decided she needed a roommate. I asked her not to get a male roommate because I would worry about my child. She acted so offended that I would worry about such a thing. I got really upset.
Image credits: LlamaFromLima
#24 When Your Mom Calls You A Bottom
Image credits: gaarasgourd
For adult children of toxic parents, it might be easier to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. Peg Streep, the author of "Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life," told HuffPost that the main thing people who grew up in a toxic family environment should remember is that the only person they can change is themselves.
#25 My Mom Using Her Beliefs To Kick Me Out For Being Trans
Image credits: AnxiousLittleBeaver
#26 I Woke Up And Saw My Door Removed By My Parents. I Asked Them Why They Did That, And They Replied, "Privacy Isn't Necessary"
Image credits: MadaraJaeger_69
#27 My Mom Paused The Internet Because I Was Doing Homework And Forgot To Text Her Back. This Is Just One Example Of Her Holding The Internet Over My Head For Every Little Slip Up I Make
Image credits: AdrianKJ2001
Licensed Mental Health Counselor Justine Carino gives an example of setting a boundary for adolescents and adults alike. "If your parents continuously invade your privacy, you may choose to set a boundary about knocking on your bedroom door before entering or calling you before they drop by your home."
#28 Getting Tracked At 20 By My Anti-Vax Conspiracy Theory Mom. I Finally Convinced Her To Delete The Tracking App Though
Image credits: jboy1229
#29 My Mom Got Kicked Out Of Her Boyfriend's House And Decided To Break Into Mine And Start Sleeping On My Couch. I Didn't Know Until I Saw Her Complaining About My Cat On Facebook
Image credits: Lv250_BlueSnail
#30 It’s My First Baby
Explanation: This is my first baby, and so far we have only told a few people (close family). We obviously included my mother-in-law in that. My partner has kids from a previous relationship, and we wanted to do a gender reveal for them. We sent a video of it to MIL because she asked to see it, and she posted it on Facebook. Announcing that not only am I pregnant, but the gender. I guess she’d had a few drinks. The worst part of it all was that once she sobered up nothing changed. This is the conversation. Am I really overreacting?
Image credits: Nalas_ofthe_balas
Sharon Martin, LCSW, says that a support system is crucial for those who grew up with toxic people. That means either a support group or a mental health professional. The term 'chosen family' also entered our collective lexicon for a reason. The people who love and support you don't necessarily have to be your family members, so don't be afraid to seek support and care from other people!
#31 My Mom Smashed My Phone
For some context, we have a rule in my house where my phone has to be upstairs plugged in at all times, and today I forgot to plug it in and had it in my pocket in my room. She came down, told me to give it to her, and threw it on the ground as hard as she could. I'm 19. She says if I don't follow the rules, I can live on the streets.
Image credits: stampfercamper
#32 I’m 27, And My Mom Thinks It’s Okay To Still Spank Or Smack Me And Gets Mad When I Defend Myself
Image credits: BringMeNirvanaa
#33 My Mom Gets Mad That I Still Wear Masks And Comes In My Room And Cuts All Of Them While I'm Gone
Image credits: SwiftyShawn
#34 My Mother Took It Upon Herself To Cut Up One Of My Favorite Pairs Of Jeans, Then Threw The Rest In The Bin Without Telling Me. Thanks, Mum
And she wonders why I don't hang out with her.
This is not the first time she has tried donating or binning my clothes. Most of the time, she just takes them and tries to do away with them without telling me. But I usually notice and call her out on it. Instead of being apologetic, she insists (forces) that I get rid of them. Her reasoning is usually, "They're ugly. I don't like them," "They're ratty," and "I don't like that color." This time, it was "They're worn thin (they were manufactured thin)."
Image credits: canyoubreathe
#35 My Dad Sanded My Car's Hood Without Telling Me
My car did have some rust spots on the hood, I own the car and was looking into places to get my hood repaired. My dad said he would paint it himself a week ago, and I said NO very clearly. He is not trained in car repair, has no experience, and has no equipment. Today he stole my car keys and decided to sand it down without letting me know. Now I have to get the entire hood repainted.
Image credits: cheap_raviolies
#36 I Don't Get Why She's So Mad That I Let My Kid Sleep On The Recliner Or Couch Sometimes
Image credits: rixendeb
#37 Just Trying To Make Plans For My Birthday With My Stepdad. We Don't Go Out Much, We Maybe Go Out To Eat Once Every Month
I invited him and my mom to one concert this year, and the train ride was a suggestion for my mom’s birthday. All of those things he always insists on paying himself even though I offer money.
Image credits: cd_unoxx
#38 My Dad Will Often Park In Or Over Handicapped Spaces. This Is At A Medical Facility. The Parking Lot Was Mostly Empty
Image credits: BudgieGryphon
#39 Mom Destroyed My Ultra Wide Monitor The Day After I Called The Cops On Her Because She Threw Rubbing Alcohol In My Eyes
Image credits: TranquilNemesis
#40 The Subtle Way My Mom Shows Anger When Needing To Reschedule Lunch Plans
Image credits: TheLady208
#41 I’ve Been At College For One Day. My Dad Dropped Me Off Yesterday. It Hasn’t Even Been 24 Hours Since He Dropped Me Off. I’m Four And A Half Hours Away, And I Still Can’t Escape This
Image credits: Hamilfan16
#42 Parents Who Lit Cigarettes Inside Their Car While Their Kids Are Inside The Car
Image credits: fmintar1
#43 My Mom Adopted A Cat And Kept Her For Less Than 48 Hours Before Deciding The Poor Thing Was Too Much To Handle. Now She Wants Me To Buy Her A Dog?
Image credits: plsmrsdahmer
#44 My 16-Year-Old Sister Spent Two Hours Cooking Christmas Dinner And My Mom Won't Eat Because She's Mad That My Sister Didn't Like Her Present
Sis got a pink purse. She doesn't use purses, and she also hates the color pink.
Image credits: definitelyciscyrus
#45 This Is What My Partner Has To Deal With Daily. Classic Narcissistic Mom
Image credits: Ethan_Sebire
#46 My Mom Thinks I'm A Substance Addict Because I Left The Toilet Seat Up And Got A "C" In One Class
Image credits: poizoni
#47 My Parents Have Installed Software On My Phone Without My Consent That Disables The Ability To Clear History And Streams My Web History And Activity To Their Phone
Image credits: ScarcityCareless6241
#48 This Mom
Image credits: Skuggles2
#49 My Dad Today
I mean, when you cheat on my mom more than three times, maybe you will start to reflect and wonder why.
Image credits: Plutaph
#50 My Dad Randomly Unplugged My Ethernet, And This Is What I Come Back To After I Plug It Back In
Image credits: boiwotm88
#51 So I Told My Mom I Was Voting For Biden, And She Told Me, "I Don’t Want You To Come Visit. Don't Talk To Me Anymore" And Hung Up On Me. Then She Sent Me These Crazy Texts
Image credits: Ahhw2hs87
#52 My Dad Volunteered Me To Read At Church Tomorrow With A 5-Hour Notice And Has Refused To Call Me By My Name (I'm Trans)
Image credits: JingleheimerSchmin
#53 Just Found Out My Parents Installed An App On My Phone To Track My Messages And Tried To Hide It
Image credits: PhychologicalPotato
#54 The Camera My Dad Put In My Room To Watch The Driveway
He doesn't trust me at all and says it can't see into my room at all, and the camera can get audio.
Image credits: JonathanBel1248
#55 I Told My Mom I Was Filing My Taxes Independently This Year Because She Falsely Claimed Me As A Dependent Last Year. This Is The Result
Image credits: Phoenlex
#56 I'm 18, And My Mom Sent Me Out To Get A Table And Chairs For Her. I Was Gone For 20 Minutes And Didn't Respond To Her Calls. This Is The Result
I was busy lifting a massive table down four flights of stairs. She sent me an UberXL that she was monitoring. Also, my phone was off, and I forgot to turn it on before I left. This was the result. The Uber driver said she blew him up too with texts about not knowing how to call the police here (we just moved to another country). I am a grown adult. And I was a 15-minute drive away.
Image credits: rhysceleste
#57 I Came Home And Found My Room Like This
For context, my little brother had dropped his phone behind my bed, and they couldn't get it out, so my parents ripped my bed and room apart to help him.
Image credits: HorridCabbageFeet
#58 My Dad Used This Spatula As A Poop Knife
I woke up this morning to the news from my husband that when my dad couldn’t find a plunger, he used one of the better spatulas as a poop knife, and that I had to talk to him about it.
Image credits: Troutmonkeys
#59 A Conversation Between My Mom And My Cousin. My Mother Refused To Tell Me About My Grandfather Passing Away
Mom and I have been estranged for almost 4 years now. In the New Year, we decided to work on our relationship and even seek therapy to help us. I think things are okay, and then, tonight, this.
Image credits: Grasshoppa01
#60 Mom Used My Rice Cooker And Said I Needed To Clean It Up
Image credits: LasagnaIsItalianCake
#61 My Dad Trimmed My Watermelon Plant, To "Make The Nutrients From Roots To All Go To The Fruits", And Now It's Dying
I tried to stop him from doing it for days, but he just wouldn't listen. He also pruned our grapevine for the same reason. Fortunately, it lived.
Image credits: Yussso
#62 My Mom Found Out That I (18 Male) Have A Girlfriend For Over A Year
She also told me that she was literally going to kill me and that I was a coward for not telling her. That sexual intercourse is a normal thing, so I should have just told her that. She also told the baby, who is under 5, to tell me how much I hurt her, told all of Facebook how I lied and told all of my family and cousins. All in the span of five weeks.
Image credits: Solrac8D
#63 The Most Caring Mom
This was by far the worst incident. I was in 2nd grade, 7-8 years old, and just went through some of the worst traumas of my life. However, my mom was more worried about going to Vegas than my health.
Image credits: TheScarletJones
#64 My Parents Call Me A Slob Then Bring This Out Of Their Room For Me To Wash
Image credits: TheBadAdvicePerson
#65 I Cleaned My Mother's Kitchen And Moldy Fridge While Watching Her Dog For The Day And It Made Her Very Upset
Image credits: AxtualPxanda
#66 I Wonder Why The Kid Likes Travelling More With His Dad Than Spending Time With His Mother
Image credits: Bitbatgaming
#67 She Has A Son Who’s So Well-Behaved, She’s Going To Punish Him For A Pack Of Ramen That He Cooked Himself
Image credits: AsianVixen4U
#68 My Mom Casually Using Netflix On Two Screens At Once So Nobody Else Can Watch Anything
Image credits: reddit.com
#69 Kid's Parents Told Him To Eat What He Dropped On The Ground
Image credits: iamthedreadpiraterob
#70 My Mother Took Up A Hair Cutting Course 9 Years Ago. With Just Little Practice, She Confidently Lured My Brother In For A Haircut. This Is The Result
Image credits: GuccimyBoi
#71 My Dad With Anger Issues And A Gambling Addiction Threw My Perfume That I've Saved Up For A Few Months On The Floor
Image credits: Chrl2k
#72 This Card My Recovering Alcoholic Partner’s Parents Sent Him For His Birthday
Image credits: Spookybananabread
#73 My Dad Refuses To Clean Up Dog's Poop But Goes Through The Effort Of Putting A Flag By Each Pile
Image credits: mevly04
#74 My Mom Opened My Package That I Had Waited 4 Weeks For And Was Really Excited To Open. She Said, "I Thought It Was Your Sister’s Medication"
Image credits: frickinheckinfrick
#75 I Need More Opinions. I'm 22 Living On My Own, And My Parents Still Want To Have Control Over What I Buy. It Is Not Making Me Any More Frugal When She Yells At Me For Spending Too Much
Image credits: reddit.com
#76 And Boomers Wonder Why Their Kids Don't Like Them
Image credits: Avarickan
#77 "Your House Burnt Down Because You Didn't Listen To Us"
Image credits: tersay
#78 My Mom Called Me A B Word Because I Didn't Respond To Her Weird Lie About Opening My Mail
Image credits: ineptintrovert
#79 My Mom Always Leaves Religious Literature At My House After She Visits
Image credits: roganknowsbest
#80 I Loaned My Car To My Mom While Hers Was In The Shop. Today, She Returned It Like This
Image credits: DaDawkturr
#81 I Left This Perfectly Finished Cottage Pie In The Oven. My Father Decided To "Help"
I left this in the oven for 3 minutes while I ran my kid a bath. My dad decided he would fix the perfect meal by slapping slices of cheap cheese on top.
Image credits: HelloMikkii
#82 My Mom Was Supposed To Come Visit For The First Time In Like 15 Years, So I Stayed Up All Night Smoking A Brisket. She Flaked. I'm Not Even Surprised. My Friends Will Eat Well Tonight
Image credits: MyDearIcarus
#83 My Mom Doesn't Believe In Medicine And Has Wanted Me To Get Off Adderall Since I've Been Prescribed It For My Diagnosed ADHD. I Set Hard Boundaries With Her, And She's Saying It's The Meds
I feel good with my level-headed and assertive response. The thumbs down sent me.
Image credits: babyspringmix
#84 I Made This Note To Get Myself Through Quarantine. I Have Lived Alone With My Mother For Over 15 Years (I'm 21)
Image credits: reddit.com
#85 My Father Who Nearly Ended Me And My Brother Sends His Birthday Wishes After A Year Of Silence
Image credits: therattywoman
#86 When My Boyfriend First Got A TV, His Mom Kept Telling Him To Get It Out Of The House Because It "Wasted Energy"
Then he got a PS4 and was only allowed to keep it if everyone else in the house could use it. She will literally find any reason to start an argument.
Image credits: mclxxvin
#87 My Mom Always Gaslights Me. It's Not Yelling It's Just Being "Loud"
Image credits: reddit.com
#88 My Mom Popped All My Coffee Pods
My mom popped all my Keurig coffee pods, almost the entire box’s worth, because "they were too full and it was kind of annoying to close the drawer." I would have just put them back in the box they came in if she asked. They’ll all go stale now, and she doesn’t see the problem.
Image credits: SageHowlter
#89 I Went On A Trip With My Boyfriend During My College Break
Image credits: bbsqueezy
#90 I Took My Parents Out To Dinner For My Birthday, But They Leave Every 30 Minutes To Smoke
Image credits: Kannahayabusa12
#91 Dad Letting His Kid Climb The Luggage Rack On A Train
Image credits: ioncoddingtonagain
#92 My Mom Borrowed My Gaming Mouse Because She Lost Hers. This Is How She Returned It
Image credits: Ok_Present1145
#93 Kids Stealing Money Out Of The Wishing Fountain At The Mall While Their Parents Watched And Laughed
Image credits: Mokelangelo
#94 How I Found Out That My Family Was Going On Vacation
I woke up this morning to this message and was surprised and confused to learn my parents had planned a family vacation and hadn’t told me anything about it.
The only conversation that I can vaguely recall about this had to have happened weeks ago. My dad mentioned it like it was something they wanted to do but hadn’t solidified yet. I told them something along the lines of, "Yeah, that sounds fun! Just let me know the dates that you’re planning to go so I can be sure to have work off so I can make it."
Radio silence for weeks, then this pops up in the family group chat. My parents are already at the resort. I called them to figure out what was up, and they claimed that they told me verbally, and that should have been enough.
Also, I’m apparently the only one of my siblings who was out of the loop, so that kind of stings.
What’s frustrating is that I had today off from work, and I could have made it up with them if I had known about it and hadn’t decided to pick up an extra shift, assuming that I had nothing going on that day. My parents and I live ten minutes away from each other, so going up together wouldn’t have been any hassle at all if I had only known this was going on!
Luckily, it’s only an hour and a half away, so I can still make it.
Image credits: Starbotcar
#95 Father Deadnames Me And Sends Transphobic Article
Image credits: random-account-15
#96 My Dad Threw Away My School Project Poster
Image credits: Alex-Angel-1121
#97 My Dad Cleaned My Cat's Litter Box With My Spatula While I Was Out Of Town
My 60-year-old dad is living with me (a 30-year-old female) at the moment. I was out of town for several days and came home to a spatula next to my cat’s litter box. The actual litter scoop was in the small closet (pictured) in plain sight. He didn’t call or ask about the location.
Image credits: a_n_v_s
#98 Even Though I Pay Rent And Buy Milk 95% Of The Time, My Mother Finds It Necessary To Pull This
Because, you know, God forbid, I consume something I paid for with my own money. Yet supposedly she is working on becoming a "better" person.
Image credits: ThatShelburneGuy
#99 I Bought Ripped Jeans For Summer, Mom Sewed The Holes
Image credits: longerdistancethrow
#100 My Father Put His Meds In My Pouch. I Took Two Tablets Of My Dad's Metformin Instead Of My Lithium
My father and I have separate medicine pouches. But this time, when he filled out his prescription, he ended up putting his medications in my pouch.
His metformin looks exactly like my lithium, and since those are the only round, white tablets in my pouch, I took two without checking. I only realized I took the wrong medications because they weren't bitter like lithium.
Luckily, nothing really happened with 1000 mg of metformin except for an upset stomach the next day.
Image credits: roaringleopard
