Millennial parents have revealed the 10 lessons they're making sure to teach their kids and revealed how they're implementing life lessons they never received in childhood.
Millennials are changing the parenting game. From popularising new parenting styles that have left the generation to believe their approach to parenting is ‘better’ than previous generations’, to opening up more about the realities of parenthood to help ease the mental load of chaotic family life, there's no question that their approach is different to those who have come before.
And that's the main point, it seems. The fact was highlighted in a recent Instagram post from psychologists and parenting and postpartum experts Caitlin Slavens and Chelsea Bodie, with the experts asking their Millennial followers about the lessons they're teaching their kids that they were not taught themselves growing up.
In the post, they shared the lessons they're teaching their own kids as Millennial parents;
- Mental health is as important as physical health.
- It's ok if not everyone likes you or is friends with you. "You don't have to like or be friends with everyone," the expert shared. "How I wish someone told me that it's ok if not everyone liked me."
- They deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
- They don't have to finish all the food off their place."This helps them learn their own internal signals around hunger and fullness," the expert explained.
- It is ok to cry. It doesn't mean you're weak.
A running theme in all the comments was the parents' desire to 'break the cycle' and leave behind the unhealthy and unhelpful behaviours Millennials' own parents displayed in their childhoods. Many wanted to unlearn what they had in childhood, making sure their kids weren't impacted by it.
Their insight prompted parents to share their own thoughts on what life lessons they're implementing too - and they offer some great recommendations for all parents.
- Everyone is learning.One parent took to the comments, explaining, "Someone can make a mistake, [a] bad choice, have a bad day and still be a good person. YOU can make a mistake, [a] bad choice, have a bad day and still be a good person."
- Body autonomy. "They never have to hug or kiss someone if they are uncomfortable or don't want to," another parent shared.
- Being perfect isn’t an expectation, or a reality. Another parent revealed their brilliant advice and we're going to be living by it for the rest of time. They shared, "You don’t even have to be SO GOOD at most things. Most people are mediocre at a lot of things, and it’s absolutely okay to find happiness in that."
- All feelings are valid and welcome. "[I'm teaching them] That they have to get through [their feelings] to let them go. That it's not healthy to store feelings and not let them out, especially the ones of anger and sadness," one parent candidly shared. "And I teach them that I love them no matter what. That they are good just the way they are and no other person can change that."
- Parents aren’t perfect. "We’re learning too," another parent commented. "We apologise when we make a mistake."
Speaking to GoodtoKnow previously for our article on 'Are you a cycle breaker?', psychotherapist Heidi Soholt explained the term, sharing that a cycle breaker is a parent who consciously chooses to parent differently from how they were parented.
“Breaking the parenting cycle is more about becoming self-aware and taking the time to honestly reflect on how your experiences as a child have impacted your ability to parent," she explained.
And this can only have a good impact, Dr Becky, a parenting expert, mum and author of Good Inside says. She told GoodToKnow, “If you’re raising your kids differently than you were raised, you’re carrying the weight of how generations before you were parented and acting as a pivot point for all the generations to come.
"That’s what it really means to be a cycle-breaker: The bravery and strength to say, ‘This family story… It ends with me. I’m starting something new.’”
In other family news, millennials reveal the 10 things they hated as kids but love now they’re adults - and #5 is so relatable. Plus, we reveal the 12 traits of perfectionism in motherhood and decode why mums feel the need to be 'flawless'. And, don’t fix it, just listen - survey reveals how teens really want their ‘intense emotions’ handled.
